Mad Atoms

Brendan has worked for an awful newspaper, the two worst shows in the history of television, a few failed films, and more than one terrible website. He’s never met a man who can best him in Dr. Mario.

Farley Elliott is an uncompromising Pittsburgh Steelers fan from Adams Center, NY--a town so small it could not hold his ego. As a recent addition to the Los Angeles landscape, Farley can be found performing with the sketch comedy group The Seven Year Plan, or doing improv at Upright Citizens Brigade theatre in Hollywood.

McLean is an actress/writer from the lovely land of Nashville. She spends her time hiking alone in the hills, writing alone in her apartment, going on lame auditions, and dodging douche bags. She is celibate but takes prenatal vitamins to make her hair grow.

Saryn is an entertainment journalist and creative writer. She's the kind of chick who seems to have her shit together, but is really a hypomanic nymphet on the sly. Saryn hails from the WASP-y state of Connecticut and is a recent LA-transplant (via NYC). She has an encyclopedic memory and is a psychic friend to felines everywhere.

Gus has a very lax attitude towards other people's feelings. He has lived in Los Angeles for a decade and enjoys how impersonal and emotionally barren the city is. Gus enjoys extreme pornography, reflecting on past failures, not having children, and being ignored.

Jacob was born and bred in the Ozarks but now lives in Los Angeles, just like Brad Pitt. And the Beverly Hillbillies.

Janie Mo grew up in Minnesota and became an accomplished pontoon rider by age six and was riding full throttle by age ten. Two years ago, she moved to Los Angeles and successfully began playing out her repressed Norwegian emotions on the bass guitar; pioneering a new style of bass slappin’, which unfortunately is universally ignored. This is her first time writing about herself in the third person.

For all Dan all the time, check out thehollywoodham.com, where he's the founder, writer, photographer, treasurer, intern, and president. He also writes for The Huffington Post and gets uncomfortable when babies stare at him.

Artie is the editor of the MadAtoms blog and constantly gets called into the boss's office to get yelled at for the filth that's posted here. He's from Los Angeles (Glendale), so punk police are afraid of him.

Katy is equal parts pirate and ninja; but she is also pretty clumsy. So you would probably stand a good chance of winning if you were ever to duel.