Matt Houghton lives in an igloo in Canada. All of his appeared writing is deciphered from urine-inscribed ice blocks.
Worm Miller
2
Worm has been trained since birth in the dangerous art of professional wordsmithery. He once snuggled a puppy. He is also the author of the international bestselling smash A Zombie's History of the United States. Fear him.
LIVING THE DREAM
THE FIVE STAGES OF YOUR LIFE
26 June 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Marek Haiduk
Because life needs to be depressingly broken down.
LIVING THE DREAM
WHAT KIND OF DRUG ARE YOU?
11 March 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Ela Boyd
You can never have too many drug charts.
LIVING THE DREAM
A SIMPLE GUIDE FOR PET LOVERS
05 February 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
truck
OK, so it's not really a guide.
THUG LIFE
OLD PEOPLE ARE STONED
16 April 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Sean Wilkin
At least now my grandparents and I have something in common.
MADATOMS PERSONALS
SUPERHERO SPEED DATING
12 October 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Jordan Monsell
How women would really react to superheroes.
MADATOMS PERSONALS
5 WORST WAYS TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE
27 November 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Alisha Amirkhanian
Yes, we've used all of these methods.
LIVING THE DREAM
LITTLE GIRLS: MORE DISGUSTING THAN YOU KNOW
11 November 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Josh House
I was once a middle school janitor...
LIVING THE DREAM
THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF MALE DEVELOPMENT
10 July 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Marek Haiduk
And you thought teenage girls were unstable?
LIVING THE DREAM
5 STAGES OF EVERYDAY GRIEF
14 August 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Ela Boyd
Because fast food binges happen a lot more than deaths.
DEVELOPMENT HELL
WHAT VAMPIRES WOULD REALLY BE LIKE
15 March 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Jordan Monsell
Probably the last people you'd wanna date.
ALL FOR ROFL
SCI-FI SUPERFAN REFERENCE MANUAL
26 March 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
David Hwang
Live long and use the force so the smoke monster won't get you.
LIVING THE DREAM
YOUR CHILDHOOD GONE ADULT
14 January 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Marek Haiduk
Gerbils just ain't what they used to be.
MADATOMS PERSONALS
VIDEO GAME SPEED DATING
26 February 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Jordan Monsell
You know we were gonna go there.
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
BOOZE VS. WEED
15 May 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Edwin Servaas
A scientific comparison...
DEVELOPMENT HELL
BREAKING DOWN THE BADASSES
23 October 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Doug Chang
Hopefully, this will get us less death threats than yesterday's post.
SPLOOGED
MY GROSSEST AMSTERDAM STORY
10 June 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Manuel Rebollo
Try and top it.
MADATOMS PERSONALS
GUIDE TO MEETING WOMEN BY LOCATION
22 January 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Liva Rutmane
This chart is guaranteed to get you laid.
LIVING THE DREAM
I, WHORE: A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO SELLING OUT (NSFW)
23 October 2008 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Antonina
From the screenwriter of the Dorm Daze series...
DEVELOPMENT HELL
WHAT I’VE LEARNED FROM 80’S CARTOONS
02 December 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Marek Haiduk
We all know He-Man was gay. But Uncle Scrooge?
MADATOMS PERSONALS
MOVIE VILLAIN SPEED DATING
04 December 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Jordan Monsell
Go see Transylmania tonight! Written by our very own Worm Miller.
ALL FOR ROFL
KNOW YOUR TROLLS
20 May 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
David Hwang
Lest ye be troll'd.
DEVELOPMENT HELL
AVATAR DANCES IN FERNGULLY’S DUNE
17 February 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
David Hwang
....with Pocahontas.
LIVING THE DREAM
GAME OF LIFE: 2009 EDITION
17 December 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Jordan Monsell
I don't think you could get the clap in the original version.
MADATOMS PERSONALS
THE 90’S KILLED MY SEXUAL GROWTH
11 December 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Sara Leszczynska
Dude, are you being sarcastic? I don't even know anymore.
LIVING THE DREAM
YOUR GUIDE TO PARTIES
24 March 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
David Hwang
We use the term party very loosely.
DEVELOPMENT HELL
TRANSFORMERS 2 STORY MEETING
14 July 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Torri Garcia
This transcript was provided to us by one of Transformers 2's writers.
MADATOMS PERSONALS
HOT GIRLS LOVE TACO BELL
26 February 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Serena Larsen
Since when did Taco Bell become hot chick Mecca?
DEVELOPMENT HELL
MOVIE NUDITY THAT CHANGED MY LIFE (NSFW?)
03 February 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Gabriele Chiapparini
A tribute to "80's tits."
HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
SINCERITY IS THE NEW BLACK
23 March 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Mathiole
Being ironic isn't ironic anymore.
DEVELOPMENT HELL
HACK DIRECTORS VENN DIAGRAM
22 July 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Doug Chang
Quantifiable proof they suck.
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
EVERYONE LOVES RACIST JOKES
18 June 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Iaian Greenson
Well, at least all white people do.
LIVING THE DREAM
WE MUST STOP DEFAMING DICK SUCKING
23 February 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Myles Edwin
Guys, it's for our own good.
ALL FOR ROFL
I AM TECHNOLOGY’S BITCH
20 March 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Eduardo Nora
How did anyone ever remember phone numbers?
DEVELOPMENT HELL
I HATE THE MOVIE CRASH
02 June 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Sean Metcalf
Yet it's been #1 on Netflix for years! WHY?
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
WANNA BUY A TIGER?
05 March 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
M. Sell
Why is it always useless crap that is sold on the street?
DEVELOPMENT HELL
THE TERRIBLE TRUE MEANINGS OF FAIRY TALES
08 December 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Alberto Polo Iañez
Shocking revelations within!
LIVING THE DREAM
FILM SETS ARE LIKE SUMMER CAMP
24 June 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Hrystia Kaminska
Except in Hollywood, you'll get way past 2nd base.
LIVING THE DREAM
THE SOBERING REALITY OF BEING SOBER
30 April 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
R. Zbrzezny
Did life used to suck this bad when we were children?
THUG LIFE
I AM A CRIMINAL
05 May 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Balázs Szabó
Sometimes I forget. But I totally am.
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
GOING POSTAL
12 March 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Mark Noke
Who ever thought the U.S. Postal system could turn out to be evil?
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
THE DRUNK DRIVER’S LICENSE
09 December 2008 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Xanado
Every LA driver should be able to apply for one.
DEVELOPMENT HELL
BEAUTY IS A TALENT
18 February 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Janusz Miller
That makes Lindsey Lohan completely talentless.
ALL FOR ROFL
THE VIDEO GAMER’S REFERENCE MANUAL
23 December 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Leah Crouthamel
I haven't left the house in two weeks thanks to Dragon Age.
SPLOOGED
I LOVE CONDOMS
02 September 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Ivan Uralsky
It's like a sex merit badge...until I throw it in the trash.
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
PLEASE SHUT UP ABOUT…
30 April 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
cogac
A good old fashioned rant.
MADATOMS PERSONALS
APPLYING HISTORY CLASS TO DATING
25 May 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Sean Metcalf
FInd out the true perils of a Russian Front.
THUG LIFE
THE STUPIDEST THINGS I’VE BEEN BUSTED FOR
30 September 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Tamas Olejnik; Model: Ana
And these are just what I've been busted for. There are plenty more stupid things I've done.
LIVING THE DREAM
CELEBRITY ABUSERS VENN DIAGRAM
22 February 2011 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Sean Metcalf
We build them up only to tear them down...
DEVELOPMENT HELL
CINEMA’S GREATEST PUKING SCENES
24 November 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
MILKBBI (justin wallis)
In preperation for a big Thanksgiving Dinner, we give you...
SPLOOGED
THE MANY QUIRKS OF FOREIGN PORN
29 November 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Liva Rutmane
A lot of strenuous research went into this piece.
LIVING THE DREAM
MY FIRST ABORTION
13 March 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Viesturs Links
The first time is always awkward. Even for the guy.
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
WHAT’S YOUR MUTANT SUPER POWER?
04 June 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Apachennov
It's like the TV show Heroes but in real life.
LIVING THE DREAM
REBELLING TOWARD CHRISTIANITY
17 March 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Maria Thulin
Take that, mom and dad!
DEVELOPMENT HELL
HORSE FARTS
29 January 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Óscar Sánchez
Alright Producers, no more horsing around.
MADATOMS PERSONALS
I’M A HOOKER NOT A STRIPPER
18 November 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Albina Terentjeva
A bachelor party tale.
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
I DON’T HAVE YOUR BACK
09 March 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Christ Off
Well, unless you're sticking up for me.
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
YOUR KIDS ARE TOO FAT
17 September 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Mel Stringer
If your kids were captured like Hansel and Gretel, the old woman could eat them straight away.
DEVELOPMENT HELL
INCEPTION OF SCROOGE’S PAPRIKA DREAMSCAPE
17 August 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Doug Chang
...in The Cell.
DEVELOPMENT HELL
BREAKING DOWN THE BADASSES, VOL. 2
20 November 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Edwin Servaas
Chuck Norris was excluded on purpose. Fuck that guy.
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
WHO WANTS SHOTS???
28 April 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Yafet
Everyone I say wants shots. That's who.
DEVELOPMENT HELL
ROM COM REALITY BOMB
10 February 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Emma Hartvig
Being forced to see that rom-com was definitely not worth the blowie.
MADATOMS PERSONALS
BUSTED! THE SHAME OF ONLINE DATING
13 December 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Sean Metcalf
Seeing people you know is just humiliating. Even though they're on there too.
THUG LIFE
BOYS LOVE BREAKING THINGS
10 August 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Ewa Szau
Before we discover beer or women, we discover the joys of petty destruction.
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
HOW TO GET KICKED OUT OF A BAR
16 November 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Sean Metcalf
Step 1: Get wasted.
LIVING THE DREAM
DOES ANUSDRILL MEAN I’M OLD?
05 March 2010 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Mehmet Turgut
If you thought we were sophomoric before...
LIVING THE DREAM
CONVERSING WITH ACTORS
03 February 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
András Jókúti
It provides endless entertainment at parties.
MADATOMS PERSONALS
THE GIRL WHO PEED IN MY BED
28 March 2011 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Hillary White
True romance.
LIVING THE DREAM
DRUNK’D: THANKSGIVING IN CHICAGO
29 December 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Davy Jourget
What happens when you spend Thanksgiving with friends...
LIVING THE DREAM
THE HIDDEN JOYS OF DRUNK FRIENDS
03 March 2011 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Julia Scott
Well, semi-hidden.
LIVING THE DREAM
WIN A FREE TRIP WITH SCREENWRITING
13 January 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Mathiole
Ask me how!
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
JIMMY CARTER RUINED YOUR LUNCH
15 December 2009 / Writer:
Worm Miller
/ Artist:
Sean Metcalf
If it's noon and you're sober, blame him.
Tim Saccardo
3
Tim Saccardo is an LA-based comedy writer, director, and improviser. His credits include the TBS sitcom 10 Items or Less, the Huffington Post's Wikipedia parody site Dickipedia.org, and MTV's upcoming animated sketch show Popzilla. He also frequently writes and performs at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and their website UCBcomedy.com
Becky Bain
4
Becky likes to scuba dive, sky dive, make movies, drink fancy wine and travel. But all of those hobbies are pretty expensive, so she usually just sticks to writing. Words are cheap.
Rick Paulas
5
Rick Paulas has never written a serious thing in his life, some of which can be found at ESPN The Magazine, McSweeney's, Radar Magazine, Deadspin, and other nonsensically-named websites. In short: If you'll pay, he'll write.
Kristin Wong
6
Kristin Wong is a talented and good-looking writer who definitely did not write this in third person. Her guilty pleasures are 2 Live Crew and Lolcats. In addition to her writing endeavors, Kristin is also an enthusiastic and dedicated professional (wrestler).
Ben Siemon
7
Ben drove from Phoenix to LA in a 2006 puke-green Pontiac Vibe, and never looked back. Ben is a writer, improviser, and performer that can be seen weekly at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre LA. Ben also contributes to the Black Eyed Peas website "DipDive.com", and has a nose that is probably bigger than yours.
Michelle Lewis
8
Michelle was raised in the South, where she was taught "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." So, instead, she writes.
Hillel Aron
9
Hillel enjoys playing racquetball, eating steak, and reading about the American civil war. You can follow him on the twitter, or find him on the facebook and tell him how funny he is.
Clem Rorsch
10
Clem Rorsch aka Ryan Sandoval is a writer and comedian based in Los Angeles, with articles published in Hustler, Slap Skateboard Magazine, and Surf Shot Digital Magazine, for which he also acts as copy editor. He contributes regularly to Mad Atoms, and writes and directs videos for the online sketch collective weaknights.com