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  • Junior Owens
    11

    Junior Owens lives inside a protective force field of sarcasm.  Unfortunately said force field does not take the place of wearing rubbers, which he had to learn the hard way.

  • Haphestus Foster
    12

    Haphestus Foster threw away the tiny vestige of credibility he had as a reporter and photographer with the Stars and Stripes newspaper to waste untold thousands of dollars on a screenwriting degree at USC, where he literally pays people to tell him his work sucks. He has a deep knowledge of cheeses and has been to Antarctica.

  • Alexandra Wayne
    13

    Alexandra is a screenwriter living in Los Angeles, which means she spends most of her time reading and writing coverage for your scripts. She asks that you please stop writing thinly veiled rehashings of your teenage angst disguised as screenplays about vampires.

  • Alex D. Reid
    14

    Alex D. Reid flosses every night and likes reading about serial killers.  Contact him here.

  • Jack McCready
    15

    Jack likes beer, Heavy Metal, and weird porn – usually in that order. He is a part time actor and a mediocre screenwriter. Most days (and nights) he feels like a two dollar whore on nickel night – and likes it.

     

  • Mark Harris
    16

    Mark Harris is the token black guy and is good at it. After all, he's been the token black guy writing for websites like PopMatters, About.com, Napster, and even his own site, BlackHorrorMovies.com. So, don't any of you ambitious Negroes get any ideas about invading his turf; there can be only one.

  • Jon Sullivan
    17

    Jon Sullivan recently moved from Arkansas, and now lives with a family of sea lions in a cave on the Oregon coast. The cave is cold and dark, the smell is dreadful, and the noise of reverberated barking is blaring and constant. Still beats living in the South.

  • S.H. Blannelberry
    18

    Born on the 4th of July, S.H. Blannelberry was once a swinger of birches.  Until the forest burned down.  And, although his Fireworks Display Operator Certification has been unceremoniously revoked following the accident, he still retains his manhood (in a glass jar, on his nightstand). 

  • Matt Manser
    19

    Matt Manser is a writer/comedian based in Los Angeles.  He is the head writer for "Big News," a weekly topical sketch show at IO West, writes sketches for shows at the UCB Theater, and writes videos for UCBComedy.com.  Oh, and he has also written for CMT's "Trick My Truck."

  • ALL FOR ROFL
    FIRST COMMENTERS ARE FIRST DOUCHEBAGS
    02 April 2009 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Daniel Farrell
    ...and I dare one of you douchebags to leave a "First" comment on here.
  • BIGGIE VS. TUPAC
    THINGS YOU’LL ONLY FIND IN THE MIDWEST
    16 January 2009 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    If you're looking for unironic mullets, this is the place.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    WHAT I LEARNED FROM THE SANTA CLAUS HOAX
    22 December 2008 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Rob Hough
    Thanks for lying to me, Mom and Dad!
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    WHY IS IT THE 90’S AGAIN?
    02 October 2008 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Alia Dolphin
    O.J. Bush. 90210.... There are better things from the 90's we can bring back.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    SUPER SCARY HALLOWEEN COSTUMES
    30 October 2008 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: LiveloveART
    The 2008 edition. With only one Sarah Palin joke.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    OTHER TRAGEDIES ON 9/11
    11 September 2009 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Tasteless.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    SONGS THE CANDIDATES SHOULD BE USING
    22 October 2008 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Edwin Servaas
    Man, I hope McCain uses "Who Let the Dogs Out?" But he probably won't.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    MY LAZINESS IS KILLING THE PLANET
    22 January 2009 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Vinicius Acquesta
    But also occasionally saving the planet.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    LET’S PUT A TAX ON SEX
    08 December 2008 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Shani Théorêt
    My tax would be zero!
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    NEIL DIAMOND: IRONIC VS. SINCERE ENJOYMENT
    29 October 2008 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Hey guys, isn't it hilarious that we're at this Neil Diamond concert . . . OMG, this song really IS awesome!
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    INSTANT MESSAGE ANXIETY
    02 February 2009 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    I'll send you a message, but it won't be instant.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    NEW OBAMA CATCHPHRASES
    18 November 2008 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Can you have a new catchphrase? Yes, you can.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    FUCK YOU, ANDERSON COOPER
    24 November 2008 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    It's not my fault the economy sucks, you asshole.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    WILL ANYONE BUY CHINESE DEMOCRACY?
    24 November 2008 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Besides Axl, that is.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    COPING WITH LOSING INTERNET ACCESS
    13 October 2008 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Jeff Hahn
    Is there anything more traumatic than not having internet access? If you can't check your email, who's going to help out those poor Nigerian Princes?
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    HOW MCCAIN CAN STILL WIN
    28 October 2008 / Writer: Matt Manser / Artist: Charles Pieper
    AKA "How Obama Can Still Blow It"
  • Hulga West
    20

    Hulga West is an enigma wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in a burrito. She was once employed filling test tubes with DNA from rat testicles. And she liked it.