Mad Atoms

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  • Worm Miller
    1

    In 1957, Worm tragically drowned at camp while counselors were inconsiderately having sex. Or so everyone thought. Ambiguously undead, Worm vengefully returned decades later and has been happily killing sexy idiots ever since. He's fought Corey Feldman and Freddy Krueger and gone into space. He hopes someday to fight Michael Meyers and a Predator.

  • Tim Saccardo
    2

    Tim Saccardo is an LA-based comedy writer, director, and improviser. His credits include the TBS sitcom 10 Items or Less, the Huffington Post's Wikipedia parody site Dickipedia.org, and MTV's upcoming animated sketch show Popzilla. He also frequently writes and performs at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and their website UCBcomedy.com

  • Becky Bain
    3

    Becky likes to scuba dive, sky dive, make movies, drink fancy wine and travel. But all of those hobbies are pretty expensive, so she usually just sticks to writing. Words are cheap.

  • Hillel Aron
    4

    Hillel enjoys playing racquetball, eating steak, and reading about the American civil war. You can see him write about politics at www.dipdive.com. You can also find him on facebook and tell him how funny he is.

  • Geoffrey Golden
    5

    Geoffrey began his life watching The Muppets, and he'll die watching The Muppets.  He's written for Cracked, Warner Bros., the New York Television Festival, and has his own site called Trophy Bomb.  He loves both Capcom and Marvel equally, and wonders why they have to fight so much?

  • Michelle Lewis
    6

    Michelle was raised in the South, where she was taught "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." So, instead, she writes.

  • Rick Paulas
    7

    Rick Paulas has never written a serious thing in his life, some of which can be found at ESPN The Magazine, McSweeney's, Radar Magazine, Deadspin, and other nonsensically-named websites. In short: If you'll pay, he'll write.

  • Clem Rorsch
    8

    Clem Rorsch aka Ryan Sandoval is a writer and comedian based in Los Angeles, with articles published in Hustler, Slap Skateboard Magazine, and Surf Shot Digital Magazine, for which he also acts as copy editor. He contributes regularly to Mad Atoms, and writes and directs videos for the online sketch collective weaknights.com

  • Kirk Pynchon
    9

    Kirk Pynchon was born a poor black child. He enjoys skinny-skiing and going to bullfights on acid. He also listens to Tito Puente albums until four in the morning.  In his spare time Kirk enjoys ripping off lines from movies and pretending they are his own.

  • Snuffy Johnson
    10

    Snuffy Johnson was born the son of poor parents in Queens, then opened a chain of dry-cleaning stores on the East side of Manhattan.  He has been married to his wife Weezy for almost thirty years, and they have a son, Lionel, who disappointed him by marrying the daughter of the honky next door.

  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    MY GIRLFRIEND’S BJ CURRENCY IS HYPERINFLATED
    21 September 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Hrystia Kaminska
    Blow me quick -- before the next Hitler comes to power!
  • THUG LIFE
    GETTING STONED IN COLONIAL TIMES
    26 August 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Valentine Gallardo
    Why it wasn't as popular as it is today...
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    GETTING YOUR MEDICAL MARIJUANA CARD
    22 May 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Valentine Gallardo
    Because in Los Angeles, it's already basically legal.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    I’M SORRY I BOUGHT MY MOM A MACBOOK
    15 October 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Macs are supposed to make your life easier. Unless you give one to your elderly mother.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE WEEK I WORE A SUIT TO WORK
    25 July 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Geoff Moore
    Clothing makes the man...seem more important than he is.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    SO YOU’VE BEEN LAID OFF
    22 April 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Viesturs Links
    Let the "fluff" begin.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    THE CRAZY-HOT CURVE
    16 November 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    How much insanity a man puts up with is directly proportional to how attractive a woman is.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    I WAS A SOFTCORE PORNOGRAPHER (NSFW)
    09 February 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Oles Romanyuk
    When fake breasts and fake sex go horribly awry.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    BINGO!
    15 January 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Markus Osanger
    You don’t have to be senile to play here, but it helps.
  • SPLOOGED
    SHE RUBBED ME THE WRONG WAY
    18 July 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Maria Rodrigues
    A Thai massage gone horribly pleasurable.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    ALCOHOLISM’S NOT AS FUN AS YOU’D THINK
    22 October 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Dan Monick
    But it makes you a better writer. Occasionally. Or just a raging asshole.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    HOW I QUIT COKE
    28 October 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Vladlena Shevelova
    Being a cokehead’s all fun and games, until someone loses their freedom.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    MY NEW EXCUSE FOR EVERYTHING
    11 February 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Gilad Benari
    “Not in this economy.”
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    CANDY FOR RICH ASSHOLES
    16 September 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Brandy Eve Allen
    Rich people are better than you and me, which is why they deserve a better class of candy.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    GRAD SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND
    18 December 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Mike Ranevsky
    Not the good trust-fund kind.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    I’VE TURNED INTO A DOUCHE WITHOUT A TV
    26 November 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Katarzyna Borelowska
    Not because I’m pretentious. Because I’m cheap.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    HOW I LOST MY SECOND JOB
    26 December 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Janusz Miller
    Hint: Cocaine played a large part
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    IM AN ASSHOLE WITH A MOVIE IN DEVELOPMENT
    06 April 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Clayton Hauck
    You know that jerk sitting there in Starbucks going over a script with a loud guy? That’s me.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    CROONING WITH PORN STARS
    13 October 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Liva Rutmane
    Like regular karaoke, but with tits.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    MICKEY’S CRAZY JAPANESE DOPPLEGANGER
    11 May 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Chloé Aimée
    It’s just like our Disneyland, only filled with scantily-dressed teens.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    HOW NOT TO PROPOSE TO THE WOMAN YOU LOVE
    19 September 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Kim Shillington
    Twice.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    I DIDN’T GET THE JOB
    05 February 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Adam Bartas
    What’s worse than not getting hired? Telling everyone about it.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    WINE TASTINGS: THE RELATIONSHIP KILLER
    02 October 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Rafael
    Wine tastings in Santa Barbara conjure up romantic images straight out of SIDEWAYS. Spending a couples weekend together. Maybe picking up a trampy waitress at a restaurant. Or realizing your life as a writer is a fraud.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    BREAKING UP WITH YOUR THERAPIST
    07 January 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Gareth Southwell
    Who do you complain to when you dump your psychologist?
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    REBRANDING NAMBLA
    04 August 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Matthew Westberg
    All you really need is a good PR campaign...
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    ONLINE DATING: SPAM MARKETING YOURSELF
    06 January 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Leo Kroonen
    The same techniques used to sell mail-order Viagra can get you laid.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    DATA RECOVERY: SCAM OF THE CENTURY
    03 October 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Svyatoslav Palenyy
    You charge me way too much and probably look at those naked pictures of myself I took for "research."
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    SEMI-USEFUL ADVICE MY PARENTS GAVE ME
    22 August 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Johanna Reed
    I love my parents. They’ve always been there with a shoulder to cry on when I need it and a check when I get laid off and can’t make my rent. The one quibble I’ve got is that they give me a lot of advice.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    NOBODY’S JEWISH THESE DAYS
    10 November 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Svyatoslav Palenyy
    Well, nobody under 50.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    EVEN I’M TIRED OF MY WHINING
    19 February 2009 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Alberto Polo Iañez
    Is it bad when you stop caring about your own problems?
  • BIGGIE VS. TUPAC
    FLORIDA: AMERICA’S WANG
    11 December 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Kalif Banane
    Everytime I leave Caifornia, I remember why I came here in the first place.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    THE DOUCHIEST RESTAURANT IN LA
    23 September 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Clara McGuire
    Hint: It's Japanese.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    LOFTS: WHERE DOUCHES DWELL
    06 October 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Jonathan Jacobsen
    You can get really good smack near the Staples Center.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    BRILLIANT SCRIPTS: GHOST EDITION
    03 September 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Andrew Farrington
    Over the years, as an assistant and a development exec, I must have read at least 10,000 scripts. Most were terrible Matrix rip-offs, but it's gems like these that get me out of bed in the morning.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    DON’T WORK WITH FAMILY
    17 November 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Unless your last name is Spielberg.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    D-GUY: I GIVE NOTES
    04 August 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Kareem Rizk
    I’ve slaved in the Hollywood trenches as a “development executive” for years now. What’s that mean? That I don’t actually write, produce or direct movies. Instead, I give “notes” to people who do.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    TRIVIAL PURSUITS
    29 September 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Mathiole
    Useless knowledge = free booze.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    FONTANA: HELL ON EARTH
    26 August 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Vladimir Perlovich
    An unbiased travel guide.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    WATCHING MOVIES ON TOP OF DEAD PEOPLE
    25 September 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Vance Hernandez
    And gettin' a handjob too, if you're lucky.