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  • Mark Harris
    21

    Mark Harris is the token black guy and is good at it. After all, he's been the token black guy writing for websites like PopMatters, About.com, Napster, and even his own site, BlackHorrorMovies.com. So, don't any of you ambitious Negroes get any ideas about invading his turf; there can be only one.

  • Jack McCready
    22

    Jack likes beer, Heavy Metal, and weird porn – usually in that order. He is a part time actor and a mediocre screenwriter. Most days (and nights) he feels like a two dollar whore on nickel night – and likes it.

     

  • Matt Manser
    23

    Matt Manser is a writer/comedian based in Los Angeles.  He is the head writer for "Big News," a weekly topical sketch show at IO West, writes sketches for shows at the UCB Theater, and writes videos for UCBComedy.com.  Oh, and he has also written for CMT's "Trick My Truck."

  • S.H. Blannelberry
    24

    Born on the 4th of July, S.H. Blannelberry was once a swinger of birches.  Until the forest burned down.  And, although his Fireworks Display Operator Certification has been unceremoniously revoked following the accident, he still retains his manhood (in a glass jar, on his nightstand). 

  • R. Will Burns
    25

    Ryan usually sleeps, eats and poops at least once a day. He likes to make jokes, which usually involve a sexual organ of some sort since that's far easier than coming up with something original. On the weekends he enjoys exposing himself in the ball pit at McDonald's Play Places.

  • ALL FOR ROFL
    THE UNWRITTEN RULES OF DIGG
    03 December 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Mike Mitchell
    Internet friends are just as douchey as real friends.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    MY BOUT WITH CANCER
    29 August 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Andrea H Kwang
    I thought I was invincible. I even thought that I might be The Highlander. WedMD thought otherwise.
  • BIGGIE VS. TUPAC
    AMERICAN STEREOTYPES
    29 July 2009 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Valentine Gallardo
    There's us, New York, and everywhere in between.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    5 FETISHES RUSH LIMBAUGH PROBABLY HAS
    19 August 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Doug Chang
    We can never know for sure what kind of fetishes Rush Limbaugh gets off on, but I’ll sure as hell take a guess.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    MUSIC FROM ENGLAND: BUGGER OFF
    18 September 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Geoff Moore
    And you thought American music was bad?
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    TWILIGHT: HARRY POTTER FOR LOSERS
    24 November 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Nadia Lavard
    Star light, star bright, will you murder the author of Twilight tonight?
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE LORENZO LAMAS STARE DOWN
    12 November 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Jasmin aka Minniwar
    I've stared into the eyes of "The Renegade", peered into his dark and mysterious soul, and lived to tell about it.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    THE UNWRITTEN RULES OF YELP REVIEWS
    05 March 2009 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Antonina
    I don’t want to live in a world where people give Subway a restaurant review.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    FUN WITH YAHOO! ANSWERS
    28 February 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Betsaida
    Yahoo! Answers is where Yahoo! users are free to ask pretty much any question their heart desires, and anyone is allowed to answer. There lies the inherent problem.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    FIND YOUR SUGARDADDY
    07 March 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Tamara Beatrycze Rotten
    Because blowing a pair of saggy balls is much less painless than working 9-5 for 50 years...
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    WHAT WOULD GWB DO?
    30 January 2009 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Cyril van der Haegen
    George Bush can finally become America's moral compass, just not in the way he wanted to.
  • BIGGIE VS. TUPAC
    STREET CYNIC: NEW YORK
    15 July 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Koray Arman
    My attempts to "interview" a New Yorker illustrate the cultural superiority of the Northeast.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    WHY I DIDN’T SEE THE DARK KNIGHT LAST WEEKEND
    22 July 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Doug Chang
    Black people may talk during movies, but white people are worse. They incessantly clap.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    HATING PEOPLE HELPS
    27 February 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Maxyme Grenier-Delisle
    Do you ever find yourself angry and/or bored but don’t have any loved ones to take it out on? I know I do. The problem is, I can’t just go around verbally abusing innocent bystanders. But if I could choose an innocent by-stander, I'd choose...
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    A WHITE COLLAR MASK
    11 July 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Seamus Travers
    Striving to fit in applies to every social scene, including the work place. This was particularly hard for me when I got my first job after college at a medical supply company in Rancho Cucamonga.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    GOOGLE TRENDS ANALYSIS
    30 September 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: William A. Clark
    Quantifiable proof that America is doomed.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    AN OPEN LETTER TO CHINA
    10 April 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Roberlan Borges
    I wonder if this will get us banned by the Chinese government...
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    NOSTRADAMUS ON $5/GALLON
    09 July 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Jeffrey M. Harp
    As you know from the forwarded e-mails you get from people whose favorite book is The Da Vinci Code, Nostradamus has accurately predicted every major disaster from the stock market crash of 1929 to 9/11. The Gas Crisis of 2008 is no different.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    FISA: I DARE YOU TO SURVEILLANCE ME
    05 September 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Adam Hendershott
    Dear W, feel free to read my conversations. I guarantee you won’t like what you find.
  • CRITIQUE OF A CRITIC
    FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL
    02 May 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Maria Rodrigues
    Most movie critics have no qualifications to be telling people what to watch. They ‘analyze’ movies with no accountability and no one to make sure they’re doing their jobs. That is, until now.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    DODGER DOGGED
    17 July 2008 / Writer: R. Will Burns / Artist: Derek Erdman
    Not everyone likes baseball. If you don’t, and you’re somehow forced to go, make sure you sit in the “All You Can Eat” seats. At least then, you’ll be entertained.
  • Hulga West
    26

    Hulga West is an enigma wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in a burrito. She was once employed filling test tubes with DNA from rat testicles. And she liked it.

  • Amanda Egge
    27

    Amanda Egge is a writer and comedian living in Los Angeles.  She is also really cute.  If you would like to support her career she is looking for a sponsor/sugar daddy.  She probably will not sleep with you (unless you are also really cute,) but she promises many laughs and inappropriate jokes in exchange for paying her Visa bill.

  • Chase Darren
    28

    Chase's hobbies/accomplishments include, weaving miniature baskets out of cornhusks, falling in love with fictional television characters, captaining imaginary cheerleading squads, collecting jumping dolphin figurines, hosting Tupperware infomercials, brewing beer in her own backyard and extreme stage-diving. She’s also a pathological liar.

  • Emerson Dameron
    29

    Emerson Dameron grew up in Nebo, North Carolina. He lives in Los Angeles. He enjoys writing, comedy, neon and cats. He is an ordained minister, and performs weddings and exorcisms at reasonable rates. His piss contains flakes of real gold.

  • Sabrina Cognata
    30

    Sabrina Cognata is a writer and a thinker.  Since thinking and writing pays next to nothing she opted to fuck her way to the top.  Tragically, she only fucks muscle heads and miscreants.  Her big plans for 2009 are writing and Brazilian AIDS