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  • Matt Houghton
    1

    Matt Houghton lives in an igloo in Canada. All of his appeared writing is deciphered from urine-inscribed ice blocks. 

  • Worm Miller
    2

    Worm has been trained since birth in the dangerous art of professional wordsmithery. He once snuggled a puppy. He is also the author of the international bestselling smash A Zombie's History of the United States. Fear him.

  • Tim Saccardo
    3

    Tim Saccardo is an LA-based comedy writer, director, and improviser. His credits include the TBS sitcom 10 Items or Less, the Huffington Post's Wikipedia parody site Dickipedia.org, and MTV's upcoming animated sketch show Popzilla. He also frequently writes and performs at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and their website UCBcomedy.com

  • Becky Bain
    4

    Becky likes to scuba dive, sky dive, make movies, drink fancy wine and travel. But all of those hobbies are pretty expensive, so she usually just sticks to writing. Words are cheap.

  • Rick Paulas
    5

    Rick Paulas has never written a serious thing in his life, some of which can be found at ESPN The Magazine, McSweeney's, Radar Magazine, Deadspin, and other nonsensically-named websites. In short: If you'll pay, he'll write.

  • Kristin Wong
    6

    Kristin Wong is a talented and good-looking writer who definitely did not write this in third person. Her guilty pleasures are 2 Live Crew and Lolcats. In addition to her writing endeavors, Kristin is also an enthusiastic and dedicated professional (wrestler).

  • Ben Siemon
    7

    Ben drove from Phoenix to LA in a 2006 puke-green Pontiac Vibe, and never looked back. Ben is a writer, improviser, and performer that can be seen weekly at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre LA. Ben also contributes to the Black Eyed Peas website "DipDive.com", and has a nose that is probably bigger than yours.

  • Michelle Lewis
    8

    Michelle was raised in the South, where she was taught "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." So, instead, she writes.

  • Hillel Aron
    9

    Hillel enjoys playing racquetball, eating steak, and reading about the American civil war. You can follow him on the twitter, or find him on the facebook and tell him how funny he is.

  • Clem Rorsch
    10

    Clem Rorsch aka Ryan Sandoval is a writer and comedian based in Los Angeles, with articles published in Hustler, Slap Skateboard Magazine, and Surf Shot Digital Magazine, for which he also acts as copy editor. He contributes regularly to Mad Atoms, and writes and directs videos for the online sketch collective weaknights.com

  • LIVING THE DREAM
    SO YOU’VE DECIDED TO GO TO WORK HIGH
    22 January 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Stefan Söderström
    Tips and hints no employed stoner can do without.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    I AM HAVING A SECRET WEED AFFAIR WITH MY BOSS
    02 November 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Manuel Rebollo
    I’m a weed hooker, only I get paid in good times.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHAT WE’RE DOING TO ESCAPE REALITY
    24 June 2011 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Ashley Walker
    Here's to drugs, tv, and religion.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    I WAS NOT THAT GOOD AT EATING MUSHROOMS
    17 June 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Thom Julian Hume
    Step #1: Do not vandalize Blockbuster rentals and shout at imaginary wizards.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHAT WE’RE DOING ALONE AT THE PARTY
    03 May 2010 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Anything but socializing...
  • THUG LIFE
    ONE FUCKED UP GUIDE TO GROCERIES
    20 October 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: J.R. Baldwin
    It's about time we dabbled in grocery store humor.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    SO YOU’RE GOING TO A FAMILY FUNCTION HIGH
    01 April 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Luke Fontana
    Because there's no other way to be around your family unless you're high.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    NERD TITTY
    14 August 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Sarah Dvojack
    Comic Con’s other rare find.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    I’M SORRY MEGAN FOX
    20 August 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Simon Han
    It just isn't working out.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    MEET GERRY, THE MORBIDLY OBESE HIPSTER
    07 April 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Magdalena Sikora
    My friend Gerry is 841 pounds, and knows the drummer from Vampire Weekend.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    GETTIN’ HIGH WITH KITTY
    17 April 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist:
    In which I smoke out the poster pet of the Internet.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    THE FUTURE OF BROMANCE CINEMA
    15 July 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Like a couch rash, it will spread broey dudeness into other genres…
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    KNOW YOUR WEED DEALER
    09 April 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Picols
    You're not just buying drugs, you're buying an experience.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    MOTIVATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL SPEAKERS
    19 April 2010 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: J.R. Baldwin
    Making a full time job of stupid shit they did in their past.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    FAKEBOOK
    02 January 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Karolina Bajda
    [your name here] has uploaded a fake ass photo.
  • THUG LIFE
    TODAY’S PIRATES SUCK
    05 December 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Batten down the hatches, ye land lubber!—oh wait, not that kind of pirate.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL MUSIC TO DIE TO!
    31 July 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Edwin Servaas
    Prisoners on death row get one last listen.
  • SPLOOGED
    COCK ROCK
    23 July 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Deniz Uzunoglu
    Classic rock heroes release sex tapes.
  • THUG LIFE
    SHOW ME YOUR SWASTIDOODLE
    28 October 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist:
    With apologies to Elie Wiesel...
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    INSTANT INDIE
    26 September 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    How to create your very own indie scene...
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    THREE STEPS TO WINE TASTING SUCCESS
    23 November 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    It's not just about getting as smashed as possible. Ok, so maybe it is.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    STAN LEE IGNORNED ME WHILE I WAS HIGH ON HASH
    27 March 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Frozi
    Production assisting is my Anti-Drug.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    CELEBRITY BOX OFFICE TALES
    16 August 2010 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    How I've touched the lives of the stars.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    THE WACKY WORLD OF RACIAL SLURS
    28 January 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Aji Bekti
    Racism is officially ridiculous.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    OLYMPIC WITHDRAWALS
    29 August 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Brandy Eve Allen
    Now that the Olympics are over, what do I get high to?
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    WORDS I NEVER WANNA SEE ON CRAIGSLIST AGAIN
    25 July 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Chill. Drama. 420 Friendly.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    I AM AN ANGLOPHANBOY
    10 September 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Vladlena Shevelova
    Dude, you got to check out this one British show.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    I WILL LEGALLY BUY THE DARK KNIGHT ON DVD
    22 December 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Simon Cowell
    It's the right thing to do.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    YOU’RE NOT GANDHI, YOU JUST RIDE A BIKE
    09 September 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Doug Chang
    Sometimes bike riders are arrogant assholes.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    ANATOMY OF THE AIRPORT
    19 July 2011 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Shira Haberman
    Airport humor will never die! Never!
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    GET FREE CRAP FOR YOUR BLOOD
    13 February 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Zachary Zezima
    No blood for oil. Yes blood for movie tickets.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    OH SHIT, ART!
    30 July 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Jimena Amaral
    An everyman’s guide to getting your rocks off in the art scene. Because beauty is as beauty does.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    HISTORY’S WORST JOBS
    13 July 2011 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Hillary White
    I dont know, I mean, massage therapist at leper colony does have its perks...
  • THUG LIFE
    GANG BANGIN’ GREEN
    06 August 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Edwin Servaas
    Whether you're a Grape Street Crip or a Witmer Street Loco, the fact remains, global warming effects every hood. If Los Angeles gangs were to adopt a more eco-friendly approach to crime, then the city could guarantee a sustainable, thriving arena for turf wars well into 2060.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    COPING WITH MUSICAL THEATER MAJORS
    25 September 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Mikel Marton
    It's a big part of my job.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    ENDANGERED SPECIES BESTIALITY SMUT
    26 September 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Dee Dee Cheriel
    Maybe the Dodo was fucked to extinction.
  • THUG LIFE
    REAL STORIES FROM THE L.A. TRANSIT SYSTEM
    05 September 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Heinz Rookwood
    Ride the bus, get shit all over your neck: ask me how!
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    PISSING PEOPLE OFF WITH EMAIL
    22 July 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Andrew Grimm
    I like to reply to every email i receive with "what?"
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    GHOST SHITS
    31 October 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: David G. Osnaya
    Why Halloween is the greatest holiday...
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    JACK FM IS MAKING ME DUMBER
    11 September 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Cansu Tastan
    If I hear Boston's "More than a Feeling" one more time, my brain will shut itself off.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    PLEASE STORE YOUR COCK RING IN THE OVERHEAD
    09 April 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Kamryn Behee
    Putting the T&A in TSA.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    WHY OLD PEOPLE LOVE THEATER
    15 October 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist:
    Our man on the inside investigates.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    NOBODY CARES, FANBOY
    01 August 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Vincent Bornen
    Stop gasping in the movie theater when you recognize small details of comic book adaptations.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    HOW (NOT) TO LOSE YOUR JOB IN TEN DAYS
    14 April 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Bogdan Zwir
    Leave your morals at the door.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    JACK MORMON
    14 January 2009 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Edwin Servaas
    Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    ROOMMATE, WHERE ART THOU?
    07 July 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Bo Kaier
    A staple of finding new digs in this town is the potential roommate meet-and-greet. This is my story…
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    HOLLYWOODL LONELY HEART DR#: 01-0612603
    10 April 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Luiza Konczyk
    Los Angeles can be a lonely city for the lovelorn. Spring has sprung, so let your love flower blossom with this week’s sexy single!
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    SUBMIT YOUR SCRIPT, GRAND PRIZE $100,000
    30 June 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Jonathan Jacobsen
    From our counter correspondent at Kinko's...
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    KANSAS’ LAST OPEN PLANNED PARENTHOOD
    28 July 2011 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Melissa Arendt
    Soon to replaced with abstinence centers. AKA LARPing park?
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    MORE FUN WITH THE HOMELESS AND COMEDY
    20 August 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Vincent Bornen
    In which the drug-dealing host of an open mic insults an L.A. vagrant...
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    LUNATIC ATTACKS WORKPLACE WITH SUPERSOAKER
    05 August 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Michael Borja
    A fun alternative to that classic chestnut, the office-wide killing spree.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    YOU HAD NO HAND IN THE LEGACY OF THIS FILM
    13 August 2008 / Writer: Clem Rorsch / Artist: Mathiole
    Just because you like a movie a lot doesn't mean you were somehow responsible for it.