Mark Harris is the token black guy and is good at it. After all, he's been the token black guy writing for websites like PopMatters, About.com, Napster, and even his own site, BlackHorrorMovies.com. So, don't any of you ambitious Negroes get any ideas about invading his turf; there can be only one.
Jack McCready
22
Jack likes beer, Heavy Metal, and weird porn – usually in that order. He is a part time actor and a mediocre screenwriter. Most days (and nights) he feels like a two dollar whore on nickel night – and likes it.
Matt Manser
23
Matt Manser is a writer/comedian based in Los Angeles. He is the head writer for "Big News," a weekly topical sketch show at IO West, writes sketches for shows at the UCB Theater, and writes videos for UCBComedy.com. Oh, and he has also written for CMT's "Trick My Truck."
S.H. Blannelberry
24
Born on the 4th of July, S.H. Blannelberry was once a swinger of birches. Until the forest burned down. And, although his Fireworks Display Operator Certification has been unceremoniously revoked following the accident, he still retains his manhood (in a glass jar, on his nightstand).
R. Will Burns
25
Ryan usually sleeps, eats and poops at least once a day. He likes to make jokes, which usually involve a sexual organ of some sort since that's far easier than coming up with something original. On the weekends he enjoys exposing himself in the ball pit at McDonald's Play Places.
Hulga West
26
Hulga West is an enigma wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in a burrito. She was once employed filling test tubes with DNA from rat testicles. And she liked it.
Amanda Egge
27
Amanda Egge is a writer and comedian living in Los Angeles. She is also really cute. If you would like to support her career she is looking for a sponsor/sugar daddy. She probably will not sleep with you (unless you are also really cute,) but she promises many laughs and inappropriate jokes in exchange for paying her Visa bill.
Chase Darren
28
Chase's hobbies/accomplishments include, weaving miniature baskets out of cornhusks, falling in love with fictional television characters, captaining imaginary cheerleading squads, collecting jumping dolphin figurines, hosting Tupperware infomercials, brewing beer in her own backyard and extreme stage-diving. She’s also a pathological liar.
Emerson Dameron
29
Emerson Dameron grew up in Nebo, North Carolina. He lives in Los Angeles. He enjoys writing, comedy, neon and cats. He is an ordained minister, and performs weddings and exorcisms at reasonable rates. His piss contains flakes of real gold.
Sabrina Cognata
30
Sabrina Cognata is a writer and a thinker. Since thinking and writing pays next to nothing she opted to fuck her way to the top. Tragically, she only fucks muscle heads and miscreants. Her big plans for 2009 are writing and Brazilian AIDS
MADATOMS PERSONALS
FIVE SIGNS I’LL ALLOW YOU TO RAPE ME
13 August 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Adithya Zen
Sometimes when a girl says no she means pin me down and fuck me…
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS SEXY SHITTING
30 July 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Sam White
Girls poop? Who knew?
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
WHAT THE FUCK WENT ON LAST NIGHT?
08 October 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Polly Steab
If you plan to get rip roaringly drunk, there are going to be consequences, but why should they be your problem?
SPLOOGED
BLOW IN HER FACE
22 May 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
eZellison
It's copy from an old cigarette ad. I swear.
SPLOOGED
ERECTION CORRECTION
26 August 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Daniel Henigman
How my dog's penis ruined an Irish holiday...
THUG LIFE
LAUNDROMAT WARS
16 January 2009 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Brandon Edgar
Of course you can trust me...I look nice.
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
I’M LA FAT
05 December 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Giulio Iurissevich
I never knew I was thin until I got out of Los Angeles.
THUG LIFE
HOLLYWOOD AFTER-HOURS
16 June 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Adam Hendershott
Impractical advice on what to do for fun in L.A. after last call…
MADATOMS PERSONALS
BANGING MR. BEAN
25 July 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Eduard Mirica
Don't be the victim of fucking an ugly person.
LIVING THE DREAM
DEAR LADIES IN LOS ANGELES
08 September 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Deniz Uzunoglu
This is more than just an open letter...more of a cry for help.
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
GYM DANDY
30 September 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Adam Hendershott
Yes, you’re probably one of these idiots at the gym.
DEVELOPMENT HELL
RETARD ROMANCE
04 September 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Nil Ultra
Does anyone want to have to think about retards banging?
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
LIBATION LOGIC: A GUIDE FOR THE LADIES
28 May 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Henry Yasas
Before you get drunk know what you’re getting into…
DEVELOPMENT HELL
THIS WOMAN’S TAKE ON SEX AND THE CITY
02 June 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Marcus J. Ranum
There are a ton of things I do not understand about popular culture and Sex and the City is one of them.
POLITICALLY ERECT
TERRORIST TRAINING
11 November 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Girda Safitri
Everyone I know avoids 9-11 jokes except for my Middle-Eastern best friend.
MADATOMS PERSONALS
LA DATING: A COMPOST HEAP OF TREASURE
02 July 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Adam Hendershott
The gene pool here is shallow, like my Louboutin shoes and Louis Vuitton purse.
DEVELOPMENT HELL
THE TMZ TRAGEDY
15 September 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Brandy Eve Allen
If I wanted to see non-famous girls being drunk idiots, I would watch Girls Gone Wild.
LIVING THE DREAM
PSYCHICS ARE BETTER THAN THERAPISTS
17 April 2009 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Benoit Aubry
Because they tell you want you want to hear.
POLITICALLY ERECT
BEST IN SHOW
10 October 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Sean Metcalf
If at first you don’t succeed, enter a contest you just can’t lose
POLITICALLY ERECT
CHERTOFF FORCED TO MOONLIGHT AS NOSFERATU
02 July 2008 / Writer:
Sabrina Cognata
/ Artist:
Hillel Aron
Recession has forced U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff to take on a second job- a Nosferatu impersonator at Universal Studios.