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  • Matt Houghton
    1

    Matt Houghton lives in an igloo in Canada. All of his appeared writing is deciphered from urine-inscribed ice blocks. 

  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE WALMART DRINKING GAME
    01 September 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Roxie Vizcarra
    Play alone or bring your friends!
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    THE REALITIES OF BEING A SINGLE GUY
    27 July 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: David Hwang
    It's just like Chris Rock said, you're either lonely or you're bored.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHAT’S YOUR ADDICTION?
    23 July 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jacob Reed
    I can't quit you!
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    AWKWARD STATUS UPDATE REFERENCE MANUAL
    17 August 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Ashley Walker
    My favorite are passive-aggressive updates aimed at a specific person!
  • THUG LIFE
    SMOKING POT THROUGH THE AGES
    21 June 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    weed plus muppets equals comedy.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    DRUNK TEXTING REFERENCE MANUAL
    24 November 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    Which drunk texter will you be tonight?
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE REALITIES OF UNEMPLOYMENT
    02 June 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Not nearly as fun as I thought it would be.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    GROWING UP WITH COMPUTER GAMES
    25 June 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    A walk down nerd memory lane...
  • SPLOOGED
    SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS BREAKDOWN
    16 April 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    See! I told you I lasted longer than 2 minutes.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    SEARCH ENGINES OF THE PAST
    21 June 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: David Hwang
    What is this Google nonesense?? Everyone knows Ask Jeeves it the way to go.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S WORST FRIENDS
    28 November 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Emily Niland
    Because all of your friends are perfect.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    PROPOSING YOUR KINK TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND
    11 May 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Nechama Frier
    Matt has all these kinks. Confirmed. Sick fuck.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE REALITIES OF HOME IMPROVEMENT
    13 August 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    No, not the Tim Allen show.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    BUYING BOOZE UNDERAGE
    19 July 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: David Hwang
    Brings back memories...
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    GETTING LUCKY TIMELINE
    04 June 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Will it happen for you tonight?
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    THE REALITIES OF SHOPPING AT IKEA
    08 February 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    I hate driving to Burbank.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    THE REALITIES OF YOUR FIRST APARTMENT
    31 August 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Josh House
    Freedom isn't free.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    ACTIVITIES WITH FRIENDS VS. GIRLFRIENDS
    07 June 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Click on this. It's funny, I swear.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    TIME SPENT ON A COMPUTER WITHOUT INTERNET
    18 July 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Ashley Walker
    You can only mess with your screen saver settings for so long...
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    THE REALITIES OF FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS
    17 February 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    The sort of person willing to sleep with me is not the sort of person I want to be friends with...
  • SPLOOGED
    HOW YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY
    04 February 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    I saved myself until I found someone willing to bang me.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    HOUSE-PARTIES THROUGH THE AGES
    14 February 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jesse Draxler
    Wherein we describe how your social life is only going downhill.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    HOW TO SPEND YOUR FREE TIME
    05 October 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Doug Chang
    Don't do what I do.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    ILLOGICAL BELIEF REFERENCE MANUAL
    06 January 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Why would anyone want their silverware all bent up anyway?
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE REALITIES OF HOSTING A HOUSE PARTY
    04 November 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    How did someone steal the iPod that the party music was playing out of???
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE DRUNK COOKBOOK
    25 October 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jacob Reed
    The recipes you won't get from Martha or Emeril...
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE REALITIES OF A ROAD TRIP
    21 October 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    It was all going well until the driver decided to lock the windows shut and fart.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    BEING SINGLE VS. A LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
    04 August 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Melissa Arendt
    One night stands aren't quite as exciting when you're engaged to the person.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    SERIAL KILLERS VS. SERIAL DATERS
    07 February 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Matthew Reid
    If this were a Venn Diagram, we'd have Karla Homolka in the middle.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    THE OFFICIAL CONDIMENT RULES OF AMERICA
    04 January 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    Everyone loves condiment humor, right?
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    METHODS TO QUIT SMOKING
    28 September 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jacob Reed
    And why they all fail.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS OF POLITICAL THOUGHT
    20 October 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    How to tell what that bratty little kid is going to become on day.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    PLAYING VIDEOGAMES VS. HAVING SEX
    27 July 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Ashley Walker
    They're both fun to do with your little brother. Wait, what??
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    FAST FOOD: IS IT WORTH IT?
    14 July 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Ashley Walker
    We seem to love fries on our banners.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    GROCERY LIST BASED ON CASHIER HOTNESS
    26 August 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    The self-check out is a real plus when buying the 2 gallon lube at the West Hollywood CVS.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    THE REALITIES OF A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
    01 August 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Anthony Palamaro
    It's probably a lot more crying and puking than shooting guns and looking badass.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    THE REALITIES OF PUBLIC SWIMMING POOLS
    13 April 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Julia Scott
    Gotta love the taste of chlorine and urine.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    RELATIONSHIPS THROUGHOUT LIFE
    02 March 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Don't worry. We delve into the sex lives of the elderly in this chart.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    HIPSTER SUPERHEROES
    15 December 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    This comic is so hipster.
  • SPLOOGED
    A LOSER’S GUIDE TO DOGGY STYLE
    11 May 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Chris Vasso
    Well, it's not exactly a guide.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    ENDLESS CYCLE OF HOLIDAY GIFT GIVING
    03 January 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    Have the crowds died down yet? I have all this crap I need to return...
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    SEXUAL ROLEPLAYING VS. FANTASY ROLEPLAYING
    16 March 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Melissa Arendt
    Or for best results, combine the two.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE REALITIES OF BEING SICK
    27 April 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Joe Bastardo
    Anyone getting sick of these "realities of?"
  • SPLOOGED
    DILDOS VS. POCKET PUSSIES
    26 April 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Rubberphilosophy
    The double standard must end.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHO’S ALONE AT THE BAR
    21 November 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    Sit alone in the dark at your computer and laugh at this!
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    WWE VS UFC
    14 April 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Nechama Frier
    Someone is definitely getting beat up for this.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE REALITIES OF BACKPACKING AROUND EUROPE
    05 August 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    From the guy who brought you such gems as "The Realities of Unemployment" and the "The Realtiies of Being a Single Guy"...
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    HOW WE’RE STAYING COOL THIS SUMMER
    27 June 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    These will make your nipples hard.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE REALITIES OF CAMPING
    15 July 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    It's all fun and games until someone freaks out on mushrooms and disappears for 7 hours.
  • SPLOOGED
    WHAT’S YOUR FETISH?
    19 August 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Kitty Cattrall
    I can only get off if the woman is wearing a clown costume and stepping on balloons with her bare feet.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    HAIRCUTS FOR THE SOCIALLY AWKWARD
    16 February 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Celine Loup
    This is why I have long hair...
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    POPULAR WEBSITES SEEK HELP
    30 June 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    Except Google. He's doing alright.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    PRETENDING WE’RE HAPPY SUMMER’S OVER
    21 September 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    In Los Angeles, summer pretends you!
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    SHOCK SITES REFERENCE MANUAL
    24 February 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Ghost-written by Rick Santorum.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    THE TRUTH BEHIND CANADIAN STEREOTYPES
    23 March 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Joe Bastardo
    Wait, what the hell is Canada?
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    HOW TO SCREW UP A DATE
    08 July 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Being myself generally takes care of it.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    SCIENCE VS. RELIGION
    26 July 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Nechama Frier
    The battle for Earth has only just begun...
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    TIMELINE OF A BRO BAR FIGHT
    20 April 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jimmy Giegerich
    Similar to many animal mating ritiuals.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    I HAVE THE WORST WINGMEN
    19 May 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    Yes. That is the reason I can't get laid. The wingmen.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE WORST SUMMER JOBS
    22 June 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Because being a teenager isn't humiliating enough without a degrading uniform.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    STAYING IN EXCUSE TRANSLATOR
    06 April 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Mike Shea
    Honesty is never the best policy.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    JUSTIFYING NOT GOING TO THE GYM
    06 February 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    As if you even need a justification.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    WHO’S YOUR MANCRUSH?
    11 March 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Joe Bastardo
    Is it so wrong to admire another man's body of work? And good looks? And strong, toned arms?
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    KILLING TIME ON THE TOILET
    15 March 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Reading Madatoms is my favorite thing to do while crapping.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    A HISTORY OF ABSURD PET TRENDS
    30 July 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jacob Reed
    Rock, Chia, and beyond...
  • SPLOOGED
    A LIFETIME OF SEX MISEDUCATION
    20 January 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: David Hwang
    If it wasn't for that awkward 20 minute video in the 6th grade, I wouldn't know ANYTHING about sex.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    DRINKING GAME REFERENCE MANUAL
    17 November 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    You're not an alcoholic if you drink in game form.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    ADULTS LIVING WITH BRACES
    04 May 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Benoit Paillè
    They walk among us...
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    90S HAIRSTYLE REFERENCE MANUAL
    10 September 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: David Hwang
    The white male version.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WAKING UP VS. WAKING UP HUNGOVER
    17 September 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Doug Chang
    I know which one I'll be doing tomorrow morning.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER REFERENCE MANUAL
    30 August 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: David Hwang
    Those who can't do...
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    GAY ROOMMATE DISAPPOINTMENTS
    13 October 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    I've been lied to.
  • SPLOOGED
    RATIONALIZING UNSAFE SEX
    11 February 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Julia Scott
    The reason most of you were born...
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    HOW TO IMPROVE THE BIG BANG THEORY
    04 January 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Julia Scott
    Replacing the lead actor with Ashton Kutcher isn't one of them.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    IF TV SHOWS STARRED THEIR PRIMARY AUDIENCE
    12 October 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Emily Niland
    The View stars the exact same five women.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE REALITIES OF FRESHMAN YEAR
    29 September 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: David Hwang
    There's not enough humor about college on the Internet, so we had to pitch in.
  • SPLOOGED
    DIFFERENT ROOMS UNDER A BLACKLIGHT
    01 December 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Vincent Aceves
    Leave it to us to dedicate an entire article to urine, blood and semen.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    DINING OUT ALONE
    23 May 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Julia Scott
    The best way to look pathetic.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHAT YOU’RE BUYING WHEN YOU’RE DEPRESSED
    05 November 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Ice Cream and Jack Daniels.
  • THUG LIFE
    WHY YOU SHOULD GET STONED FOR CHRISTMAS
    15 December 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Emily Niland
    As if we have to tell you.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    GETTING IN TROUBLE AS A KID
    20 August 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    I was a bad little boy.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    THOUGHTS DURING AN UNPLANNED PREGNANCY
    28 April 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Julia Scott
    See, the humor comes from the fact that men and women react differently to things.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    FIRST DATE MOOD MUSIC
    11 January 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Can't get enough of your love baby...
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    NEVER GO BACK TO A SUMMER FLING
    13 January 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Lauren Kolesinskas
    The summer functions as a sort of permanent beer-goggle.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHAT WE’RE DOING WHILE HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS
    20 December 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jacob Reed
    Bootycalling your now married high school ex.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    SHAKESPEARE IS BULLSHIT
    25 May 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Yes, because Matt Houghton is a genius?
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    WHO YOU’LL FIND ON THE DANCE FLOOR
    11 October 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    I don't dance all I do is this. It's the same two-step with a little twist.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHO YOU’LL FIND IN MCDONALDS AT 3AM
    02 May 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Nechama Frier
    Most of our writing staff...
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE REALITIES OF PUBLIC TRANSIT
    19 November 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Saving the environment is great until you get stabbed by a hobo.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    HANGOVER CURE REFERENCE MANUAL
    28 January 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Enjoy your weekend!
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    GETTING OUT OF THE FRIEND-ZONE
    20 October 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    Guaranteed to work.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    GETTING DRUNK FOR THE SOCIALLY AWKWARD
    01 April 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Joe Bastardo
    Now with awkward Rebecca Black "Friday" jokes.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    HOW WE’RE FALSELY ASSERTING OUR MASCULINITY
    18 April 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Emily Niland
    Being macho isn't hard, when you've got a gym membership card!
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    IF REAL LIFE SHOPPING WAS LIKE ONLINE SHOPPING
    15 November 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Emily Niland
    Fortunately, both are appropriate to do totally hammered. Right?
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    DAY DRUNK VS. NIGHT DRUNK
    05 July 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Happy belated, America!
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    THAT POOR FRIEND
    30 November 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Everyone has one.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    COLD CALLING FOR FUNERALS
    13 May 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Daniell N. de Sousa
    Let me tell you about the worst job I ever had...
  • SPLOOGED
    ROOMMATE SEX: THE ART OF LISTENING
    06 January 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Matthew Reid
    Ideally, you get a partner of your own and have an all-night vocal "fuck-off."
  • SPLOOGED
    WHY YOU SHOULDN’T BANG WITH THE LIGHTS ON
    09 November 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Blind people have it made.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    TIMELINE OF AN ONLINE SELF-DIAGNOSIS
    03 February 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Quynh Pham
    The worst-case-scenario? You've got it.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE REALITIES OF ROOMMATES
    15 November 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    It's still better than living with your parents.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    ALLERGY REFERENCE MANUAL
    26 August 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Doug Chang
    Here come the hives.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE REALITIES OF SKIING
    09 December 2010 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Matt Houghton is a pussy. The editor of this site loves to ski.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    PLAYING “GUESS WHO?” ON SHROOMS
    04 April 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Julia Scott
    For ages 8 and up!
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    THE SIMILARITIES OF MACBOOKS AND TATTOOS
    10 January 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    They both make people think I'm cool. Right? RIGHT?
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    VISITING AN OLD FORUM
    02 February 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    A lot like visiting your hometown...
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    WHO STILL GOES TO THE LIBRARY
    14 February 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: David Hwang
    Isn't there a Netflix for books yet?
  • SPLOOGED
    WHAT ONLINE PORN IS TELLING YOU
    21 March 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    You're not good enough.
  • SPLOOGED
    TELLTALE SIGNS YOU’RE BEING FILMED DURING SEX
    24 March 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jimmy Giegerich
    I hope my girlfriend doesn't see this.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHY YOU GO FOR A CIGARETTE BREAK
    11 January 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Quynh Pham
    Cancer is so last season.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    EATING FOR $20 A WEEK
    10 February 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    It seems like most of our writers are pretty poor. Hmmm.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    TEXTING VS. CALLING
    19 October 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Melissa Arendt
    The only similarity they have is that I have nobody to do either of them with.
  • SPLOOGED
    THOUGHTS AFTER UNSAFE SEX
    13 December 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Melissa Arendt
    A typical Sunday morning for most of you.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    WHAT YOUR SELF-DIAGNOSIS ACTUALLY MEANS
    27 October 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Tiago Almeida
    This chart makes me depressed.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    HOW TO BE A PRETENTIOUS CYCLIST
    01 July 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    I can't be one because my bike keeps getting stolen.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR WILL YOUR KID BE?
    25 July 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    One of those medical marijuana ones with cheesy billboards, for sure.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    GETTING DRUNK ON THE CHEAP
    02 June 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Kira Crugnale
    For a generation of jobless graduates with no skills and an undeserved sense of enlightenment. Let's black out.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    EXIT STRATEGIES FOR THE VERY DRUNK
    06 March 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Melissa Arendt
    Because admitting you've had a bit too much to drink isn't an option.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    HBO SHOWS EXPLAINED
    25 January 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    By someone who's never seen them.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    HOW DO ADULTS MAKE FRIENDS?
    13 May 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Kira Crugnale
    It's ok Matt. I'll be your friend.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    THE BEST WEIRD YOUTUBE SUBCULTURES
    02 March 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Torie Leigh
    The internet truly is a wonderful place.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    BAD CONVERSATIONS BEFORE A ONE-NIGHT-STAND
    30 November 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Mark Jaworski
    It's never too late to blow your chances.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHEN TWO POPPED COLLARS MEET
    09 September 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Popped-collar humor at its finest.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    A COCKTAIL GUIDE FOR COLLEGE KIDS
    29 February 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Mike Shea
    We're really stretching the definition of "cocktail" here.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    GETTING DRUNK THROUGH THE AGES
    06 September 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    To alchohol: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    THE BENEFITS OF THE FRIEND-ZONE
    01 February 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Torie Leigh
    There's nothing better!
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    DEALING WITH STREET CANVASSERS
    22 April 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Red Cross and Green Peace are nothing but trouble.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    YOUR STANDARDS BASED ON BEER CONSUMPTION
    14 March 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Finding that fine balance between effective beer goggles and alcohol-induced impotency.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    HOW TO MAKE THE SIMPSONS GOOD AGAIN
    21 March 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    We're not mad, we're just disappointed.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    CHARACTER BREAKDOWN OF MEN WITH GOATEES
    08 February 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    But seriously just shave your goatee.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    YOUR BEST FRIEND’S WORST GIRLFRIENDS
    18 January 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Emily Niland
    We're doing these comics like the rest of the internet is doing those Shit ____s Say videos.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    SPICING UP SMALL TALK
    03 October 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    How about that Justine Bieber? She's such a babe!
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    PEOPLE WHO DON’T DRESS WEATHER-APPROPRIATE
    31 January 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Emily Niland
    Don't be these people.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    TERRIBLE TWOS VS. TERRIBLE TWENTIES
    12 December 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Vincent Aceves
    Because shitting your pants and liking boobs never gets old.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    IF JOBS NEEDED BACHELOR OF ARTS GRADS
    16 September 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    Then I wouldn't be working at Madatoms!
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    FUCKING WITH FUTURE TENANTS
    19 April 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    It's what they deserve for giving you those judgy looks.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    YOUR BIRTHDAY THROUGH THE AGES
    27 February 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    Cynicism level: maximum.
  • THUG LIFE
    THOUGHTS WHILE WALKING THROUGH THE HOOD
    28 December 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Ze Burnay
    The sad part is this is written by a Canadian. As if there's a "hood" there.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE STAIRCASE OF MALE BONDING
    30 January 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Well, it looks more like a rollercoaster or something.
  • SPLOOGED
    KAMA SUTRA FOR THE LOVELESS MARRIAGE
    07 September 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Mike Shea
    This applied to most of you married types...
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    THOUGHTS WHILE SOMEONE IS USING YOUR PC
    30 June 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Melissa Arendt
    Please don't find weird porn.
  • SPLOOGED
    A GUIDE TO HIDING YOUR BONER
    14 October 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Vincent Aceves
    Fact: According to the Bible, after they ate the fruit in the Garden of Eden, man was punished with uncontrollable boners. Seriously, look it up.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    HOW WE’RE PREPARING FOR WINTER
    22 November 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Melissa Arendt
    Fuck you, Los Angeles.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    EMPLOYMENT THROUGH THE AGES
    22 February 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Mike Shea
    Works sucks, we know.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    LEARNING ABOUT RURAL AMERICA ON YOUTUBE
    01 February 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    I journey through the fascinating world of morons with video cameras.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    HITTING ON THE SERVICE INDUSTRY
    23 February 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    At least people who are paid to talk to you won't mace you when you creepily approach them.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    MODERN USES OF MEDIEVAL TORTURE DEVICES
    10 October 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Shira Haberman
    Gitmo not included.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    SEEING A MOVIE VS. SEEING A PLAY
    13 February 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Tiago Almeida
    Actor friends are useless unless they're famous.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    BALDNESS CURE REFERENCE MANUAL
    12 September 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Vincent Aceves
    Google search "Ben Affleck hair" for a good laugh.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    A BOARDROOM MEETING AT NBC
    23 December 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Emily Niland
    We think they're just afraid of success.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    YOUR COMPUTER AFTER BINGE DRINKING
    03 August 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Mike Shea
    This is why I prefer to close all the windows without looking.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    IF BEER COMMERCIALS WERE TRUE TO REAL LIFE
    12 July 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Celine Loup
    They probably wouldn't have to blur out logos on episodes of Intervention.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    DRUNK MISTAKE REFERENCE MANUAL
    30 March 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Take note for the weekend, everyone.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    HOW TO GORGE WHEN YOU VISIT HOME
    17 March 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Julia Scott
    If you're still doing the old water in the vodka bottle trick when you're 32, it's probably time to re-evaluate life.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE AWKWARD PREDRINK DRINKING GAME
    10 November 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Hillary White
    Getting drunk has never been less fun!
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    HOW TO CUT YOUR OWN HAIR
    23 March 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Shira Haberman
    Don't worry, you're a professional.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHO’S IN THE ER AT 3AM
    29 November 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Ze Burnay
    Oh, and the stupid writer who shouldn't try and skateboard drunk.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    A GUIDE TO HOMEMADE TATTOOING
    22 June 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jonathan Zajdman
    More of a cautionary tale than a guide.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    CREATIONIST CHARACTER BREAKDOWN
    02 April 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Chance of going to heaven: N/A.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHAT A ROBBER WOULD STEAL FROM ME
    01 November 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Mark Jaworski
    Not the cereal! Anything but the breakfast cereal!
  • SPLOOGED
    THE TIME I TRIED WRITING FOR PORN
    05 October 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Mark Jaworski
    At Madatoms, we value integrity.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    I WISH MY CATS WERE INTERNET CATS
    02 September 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Clayton Long
    If only reality came in 30 second youtube clip length.
  • SPLOOGED
    LEARNING FROM “FEMALE-FRIENDLY” PORN
    20 April 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Julia Scott
    Porn: the new sex-ed!
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    “GIRLS DON’T FART” NEEDS TO STOP
    04 April 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Torie Leigh
    Warning: explicit and immature discussion of girls and farts inside.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    WHY I LOVE WORLDSTARHIPHOP.COM
    14 September 2011 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Ralph Bonilla
    It's like porn for hip-hop nerds. Plus some actual porn.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    CIRCLEJERKS VS. POETRY READINGS
    03 May 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Quynh Pham
    Both involve dicks.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    AFTER-HOURS PARTY TIMELINE
    17 April 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Mike Shea
    I heard Skrillex is going to be there.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE BENEFITS OF BEING A HOARDER
    01 May 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Mike Shea
    Because while there are kids starving in Africa, we have people who suffer from owning too much stuff.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE REALITIES OF POTLUCKS
    19 April 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Melissa Arendt
    We mean beerlucks.
  • THUG LIFE
    LESSONS LEARNED FROM BEING MUGGED
    16 April 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Jesse Draxler
    More than once. More than twice. More than three times!
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    “DARKSIDE OF OZ” SUCKS
    07 May 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Lauren Kolesinskas
    There are better ways to spend your stoned time.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    DATING: THE LOOKS VS. PERSONALITY DEBATE
    09 May 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Shira Haberman
    Fun or fuckable, that is the question.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    ALTERNATIVE WAYS TO GET HIGH
    16 May 2012 / Writer: Matt Houghton / Artist: Vincent Aceves
    You know something's wrong when you start eating a pound of nutmeg because you're bored of acid.
  • Worm Miller
    2

    Worm has been trained since birth in the dangerous art of professional wordsmithery. He once snuggled a puppy. He is also the author of the international bestselling smash A Zombie's History of the United States. Fear him.

  • Tim Saccardo
    3

    Tim Saccardo is an LA-based comedy writer, director, and improviser. His credits include the TBS sitcom 10 Items or Less, the Huffington Post's Wikipedia parody site Dickipedia.org, and MTV's upcoming animated sketch show Popzilla. He also frequently writes and performs at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and their website UCBcomedy.com

  • Becky Bain
    4

    Becky likes to scuba dive, sky dive, make movies, drink fancy wine and travel. But all of those hobbies are pretty expensive, so she usually just sticks to writing. Words are cheap.

  • Rick Paulas
    5

    Rick Paulas has never written a serious thing in his life, some of which can be found at ESPN The Magazine, McSweeney's, Radar Magazine, Deadspin, and other nonsensically-named websites. In short: If you'll pay, he'll write.

  • Kristin Wong
    6

    Kristin Wong is a talented and good-looking writer who definitely did not write this in third person. Her guilty pleasures are 2 Live Crew and Lolcats. In addition to her writing endeavors, Kristin is also an enthusiastic and dedicated professional (wrestler).

  • Ben Siemon
    7

    Ben drove from Phoenix to LA in a 2006 puke-green Pontiac Vibe, and never looked back. Ben is a writer, improviser, and performer that can be seen weekly at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre LA. Ben also contributes to the Black Eyed Peas website "DipDive.com", and has a nose that is probably bigger than yours.

  • Michelle Lewis
    8

    Michelle was raised in the South, where she was taught "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." So, instead, she writes.

  • Hillel Aron
    9

    Hillel enjoys playing racquetball, eating steak, and reading about the American civil war. You can follow him on the twitter, or find him on the facebook and tell him how funny he is.

  • Clem Rorsch
    10

    Clem Rorsch aka Ryan Sandoval is a writer and comedian based in Los Angeles, with articles published in Hustler, Slap Skateboard Magazine, and Surf Shot Digital Magazine, for which he also acts as copy editor. He contributes regularly to Mad Atoms, and writes and directs videos for the online sketch collective weaknights.com