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  • Worm Miller
    1

    In 1957, Worm tragically drowned at camp while counselors were inconsiderately having sex. Or so everyone thought. Ambiguously undead, Worm vengefully returned decades later and has been happily killing sexy idiots ever since. He's fought Corey Feldman and Freddy Krueger and gone into space. He hopes someday to fight Michael Meyers and a Predator.

  • Tim Saccardo
    2

    Tim Saccardo is an LA-based comedy writer, director, and improviser. His credits include the TBS sitcom 10 Items or Less, the Huffington Post's Wikipedia parody site Dickipedia.org, and MTV's upcoming animated sketch show Popzilla. He also frequently writes and performs at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and their website UCBcomedy.com

  • Becky Bain
    3

    Becky likes to scuba dive, sky dive, make movies, drink fancy wine and travel. But all of those hobbies are pretty expensive, so she usually just sticks to writing. Words are cheap.

  • Hillel Aron
    4

    Hillel enjoys playing racquetball, eating steak, and reading about the American civil war. You can see him write about politics at www.dipdive.com. You can also find him on facebook and tell him how funny he is.

  • Geoffrey Golden
    5

    Geoffrey began his life watching The Muppets, and he'll die watching The Muppets.  He's written for Cracked, Warner Bros., the New York Television Festival, and has his own site called Trophy Bomb.  He loves both Capcom and Marvel equally, and wonders why they have to fight so much?

  • Michelle Lewis
    6

    Michelle was raised in the South, where she was taught "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." So, instead, she writes.

  • Rick Paulas
    7

    Rick Paulas has never written a serious thing in his life, some of which can be found at ESPN The Magazine, McSweeney's, Radar Magazine, Deadspin, and other nonsensically-named websites. In short: If you'll pay, he'll write.

  • SPLOOGED
    SEXUAL BASES THROUGH THE DECADES
    21 December 2009 / Writer: Rick Paulas / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    What do the 2010's have in store for us sexually? Find out.
  • SPLOOGED
    WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU RECOGNIZE A PORNSTAR
    19 August 2009 / Writer: Rick Paulas / Artist: Manuel Rebollo
    Take a deep breath and...
  • SPLOOGED
    DEFINITELY NOT AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION
    12 January 2010 / Writer: Rick Paulas / Artist: Martin Stranka
    Just good old fashioned suicide.
  • SPLOOGED
    INTERN SEX SCANDALS: A RETROSPECTIVE
    05 January 2010 / Writer: Rick Paulas / Artist: Edwin Servaas
    Let's hope 2010 has as much action in store as 2009 did!
  • SPLOOGED
    7 WAYS TO FIX PORN
    08 October 2009 / Writer: Rick Paulas / Artist: Weronika Romowska
    Because every time you log on to the internet, it gets harder and harder to get off.
  • SPLOOGED
    PORN-A-LIKES
    29 September 2009 / Writer: Rick Paulas / Artist: Martin Stranka
    With the Internet, anyone can become a porn star.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    DEATH ON FACEBOOK
    15 January 2010 / Writer: Rick Paulas / Artist: R. Zbrzezny
    Rick Paulas writes his first piece not about porn or jerking off. But at least it's about death.
  • SPLOOGED
    THE MOST DISGUSTING CELEBRITY SEX TAPE EVER
    30 November 2009 / Writer: Rick Paulas / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    Totally NSFW!
  • SPLOOGED
    TELEMUNDO WAS THE FIRST THING I WACKED OFF TO
    13 November 2009 / Writer: Rick Paulas / Artist: Gabriel Tellez
    ¡Aye Papi!
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    JERSEY SHORE AND AVATAR - EXACTLY THE SAME?
    01 February 2010 / Writer: Rick Paulas / Artist: Valentine Gallardo
    Whaaaaaaatttttt?????
  • Kirk Pynchon
    8

    Kirk Pynchon was born a poor black child. He enjoys skinny-skiing and going to bullfights on acid. He also listens to Tito Puente albums until four in the morning.  In his spare time Kirk enjoys ripping off lines from movies and pretending they are his own.

  • Clem Rorsch
    9

    Clem Rorsch aka Ryan Sandoval is a writer and comedian based in Los Angeles, with articles published in Hustler, Slap Skateboard Magazine, and Surf Shot Digital Magazine, for which he also acts as copy editor. He contributes regularly to Mad Atoms, and writes and directs videos for the online sketch collective weaknights.com

  • Snuffy Johnson
    10

    Snuffy Johnson was born the son of poor parents in Queens, then opened a chain of dry-cleaning stores on the East side of Manhattan.  He has been married to his wife Weezy for almost thirty years, and they have a son, Lionel, who disappointed him by marrying the daughter of the honky next door.