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  • Matt Houghton
    1

    Matt Houghton lives in an igloo in Canada. All of his appeared writing is deciphered from urine-inscribed ice blocks. 

  • Worm Miller
    2

    Worm has been trained since birth in the dangerous art of professional wordsmithery. He once snuggled a puppy. He is also the author of the international bestselling smash A Zombie's History of the United States. Fear him.

  • Tim Saccardo
    3

    Tim Saccardo is an LA-based comedy writer, director, and improviser. His credits include the TBS sitcom 10 Items or Less, the Huffington Post's Wikipedia parody site Dickipedia.org, and MTV's upcoming animated sketch show Popzilla. He also frequently writes and performs at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and their website UCBcomedy.com

  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    QUENTIN TARANTINO REFERENCE MANUAL
    19 January 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Violence, racial slurs, and feet. Yum.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    POPULAR RELIGIONS REFERENCE MANUAL
    02 July 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Edwin Servaas
    For all those times when you're being persecuted for being a godless heathen.
  • SPLOOGED
    RATING THE BIRTH CONTROL METHODS
    28 December 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: truck
    Don't have kids. Just don't. Please.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    GENERATIONS REFERENCE MANUAL
    28 August 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    And no, there's no such thing as Generation Y.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    WHAT’S ON TV?
    14 October 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Who's this "Jay Leno" character I've been hearing so much about?
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    WHAT WOMEN THINK ABOUT SPORTS
    02 October 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Hey, at least they're thinking about it.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    SOCIALIST AGENCIES DESTROYING AMERICA
    21 October 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    It's time people took personal responsibility and paid for their own damn roads.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    EVIL CORPORATIONS THAT RUN YOUR LIFE
    26 January 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Edwin Servaas
    EEEVVVIIILLL!! MUAHAHAAHA!
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    WHAT WE’RE DOING ON EASTER
    01 April 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Personally, I plan on being wasted in Vegas.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    TIME SPENT AT WORK
    23 September 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    It certainly isn't being spent working.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    FIRST DATE LIES
    14 June 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    Because the truth hurts.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    REASONS PEOPLE BECOME COPS
    02 February 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    One of them being to get revenge on Dan Marino for holding the football wrong during an important field goal attempt.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHY GUYS PLAY SPORTS
    11 January 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    THE RICHEST CARTOON CHARACTERS
    09 June 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Excellent.
  • SPLOOGED
    EVOLUTION OF WATCHING PORN
    18 January 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    Back in my day, we had to draw titties on the cave wall.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    BREAKING DOWN THE FAST FOOD CHAINS
    12 November 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: J.R. Baldwin
    If we weren't so poor, drunk, fat, and lazy, they wouldn't be so succesful.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    HOW WE’RE GOING GREEN
    09 December 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    But my Hummer limo is a hybrid!
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    2010 FAIRY TALE ENDINGS
    22 February 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    Modern updates of the classics!
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    A BELATED APOLOGY TO MY COLLEGE ROOMMATES
    07 January 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Jonathan Sulinski
    For the Bob Marley. For the Pink Floyd. For the first 20 seconds of "Come as You Are."
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE REALITIES OF DRUGS
    23 September 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Don't worry. It's just a joke. We stil love doing drugs.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    CELEBRITY MURDERERS REFERENCE MANUAL
    04 November 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Killing someone is a great way to revive your career.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    HOW WE’RE SPENDING NEW YEARS EVE
    30 December 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    I feel hung over already.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE REALITIES OF VISITING STRIP CLUBS
    02 September 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Doug Chang
    Don't forget to wear basketball shorts...
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    THE REAL COSTS OF FLYING
    13 October 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    That's right. We're brining airplane humor back, bitches.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    OFFENSIVE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES
    27 October 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    Or are they?
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    THE REALITIES OF POLITICS
    18 October 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Don't vote. It only encourages them.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    TEA PARTY CHECKLIST
    05 May 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: David Hwang
    Personally approved by Sarah Palin.
  • SPLOOGED
    PREMATURE EJACULATION AND DARWIN
    13 August 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Julián Astelarra
    Are you a limp dick pansy or just highly evolved?
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    I AM NOT A COFFEE SHOP DOUCHEBAG
    26 May 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Martin Stranka
    You can't judge me because I'm going to judge you first.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    REASONS PEOPLE GET MARRIED
    04 September 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Don't worry, it's sarcastic.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    LIFE AMONGST EXTRAS
    30 June 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Because getting a desk job sucks THAT much.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    GUIDE TO CHEATING IN SCHOOL
    10 August 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Doug Chang
    Because just putting C for every answer doesn't work anymore.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    BASEBALL IS NOT BORING
    03 June 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Ela Boyd
    I insist.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    PRETENTIOUS SINGERS REFERENCE MANUAL
    09 November 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Doug Chang
    In honor of U2's recent concert in LA, we give you...
  • BIGGIE VS. TUPAC
    I AM NOT A BOSTON DOUCHEBAG
    09 July 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Michal Tokarczuk
    But I do like CHOW-DER.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    MAD LIBS: OBAMA’S CONGRESSIONAL ADDRESS
    14 September 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Jordi
    What he should have said.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    WHAT’S IN YOUR TRICK-OR-TREAT BAG?
    30 October 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk (Photo By Mans Sandstrom)
    I swear, this candy corn is worse than razorblades and poison.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    GET YOUR FUCKING DOG AWAY FROM ME
    06 October 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Clayton Hauck
    But bring your pussy around anytime.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHO’S COMING TO THANKSGIVING DINNER?
    25 November 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Just be glad your relatives aren't giving you disease ridden blankets after you're done eating.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    STUDYING RELIGION WITH AN ATHEIST
    04 August 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Ela Boyd
    Not quite as fun as studying it with a pedophile.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    WHY DO I STILL HAVE A LANDLINE?
    22 September 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Liva Rutmane
    Because AT&T spends millions of advertising dollars telling me I need one?
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    FAREWELL, MY DVR
    29 July 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    You meant a lot to me.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    FOCUS GROUPS ARE POINTLESS
    03 August 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Jason McKittrick
    But they pay you money.
  • Becky Bain
    4

    Becky likes to scuba dive, sky dive, make movies, drink fancy wine and travel. But all of those hobbies are pretty expensive, so she usually just sticks to writing. Words are cheap.

  • Rick Paulas
    5

    Rick Paulas has never written a serious thing in his life, some of which can be found at ESPN The Magazine, McSweeney's, Radar Magazine, Deadspin, and other nonsensically-named websites. In short: If you'll pay, he'll write.

  • Kristin Wong
    6

    Kristin Wong is a talented and good-looking writer who definitely did not write this in third person. Her guilty pleasures are 2 Live Crew and Lolcats. In addition to her writing endeavors, Kristin is also an enthusiastic and dedicated professional (wrestler).

  • Ben Siemon
    7

    Ben drove from Phoenix to LA in a 2006 puke-green Pontiac Vibe, and never looked back. Ben is a writer, improviser, and performer that can be seen weekly at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre LA. Ben also contributes to the Black Eyed Peas website "DipDive.com", and has a nose that is probably bigger than yours.

  • Michelle Lewis
    8

    Michelle was raised in the South, where she was taught "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." So, instead, she writes.

  • Hillel Aron
    9

    Hillel enjoys playing racquetball, eating steak, and reading about the American civil war. You can follow him on the twitter, or find him on the facebook and tell him how funny he is.

  • Clem Rorsch
    10

    Clem Rorsch aka Ryan Sandoval is a writer and comedian based in Los Angeles, with articles published in Hustler, Slap Skateboard Magazine, and Surf Shot Digital Magazine, for which he also acts as copy editor. He contributes regularly to Mad Atoms, and writes and directs videos for the online sketch collective weaknights.com