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  • Worm Miller
    1

    In 1957, Worm tragically drowned at camp while counselors were inconsiderately having sex. Or so everyone thought. Ambiguously undead, Worm vengefully returned decades later and has been happily killing sexy idiots ever since. He's fought Corey Feldman and Freddy Krueger and gone into space. He hopes someday to fight Michael Meyers and a Predator.

  • Tim Saccardo
    2

    Tim Saccardo is an LA-based comedy writer, director, and improviser. His credits include the TBS sitcom 10 Items or Less, the Huffington Post's Wikipedia parody site Dickipedia.org, and MTV's upcoming animated sketch show Popzilla. He also frequently writes and performs at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and their website UCBcomedy.com

  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    POPULAR RELIGIONS REFERENCE MANUAL
    02 July 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Edwin Servaas
    For all those times when you're being persecuted for being a godless heathen.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    QUENTIN TARANTINO REFERENCE MANUAL
    19 January 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Violence, racial slurs, and feet. Yum.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    WHAT’S ON TV?
    14 October 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Who's this "Jay Leno" character I've been hearing so much about?
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    GENERATIONS REFERENCE MANUAL
    28 August 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    And no, there's no such thing as Generation Y.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    SOCIALIST AGENCIES DESTROYING AMERICA
    21 October 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    It's time people took personal responsibility and paid for their own damn roads.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    WHAT WOMEN THINK ABOUT SPORTS
    02 October 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Hey, at least they're thinking about it.
  • SPLOOGED
    RATING THE BIRTH CONTROL METHODS
    28 December 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: truck
    Don't have kids. Just don't. Please.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    EVIL CORPORATIONS THAT RUN YOUR LIFE
    26 January 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Edwin Servaas
    EEEVVVIIILLL!! MUAHAHAAHA!
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    TIME SPENT AT WORK
    23 September 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    It certainly isn't being spent working.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    REASONS PEOPLE BECOME COPS
    02 February 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    One of them being to get revenge on Dan Marino for holding the football wrong during an important field goal attempt.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    HOW WE’RE GOING GREEN
    09 December 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    But my Hummer limo is a hybrid!
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHY GUYS PLAY SPORTS
    11 January 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    A BELATED APOLOGY TO MY COLLEGE ROOMMATES
    07 January 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Jonathan Sulinski
    For the Bob Marley. For the Pink Floyd. For the first 20 seconds of "Come as You Are."
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    BREAKING DOWN THE FAST FOOD CHAINS
    12 November 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: J.R. Baldwin
    If we weren't so poor, drunk, fat, and lazy, they wouldn't be so succesful.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    2010 FAIRY TALE ENDINGS
    22 February 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    Modern updates of the classics!
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    CELEBRITY MURDERERS REFERENCE MANUAL
    04 November 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Killing someone is a great way to revive your career.
  • SPLOOGED
    EVOLUTION OF WATCHING PORN
    18 January 2010 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    Back in my day, we had to draw titties on the cave wall.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    HOW WE’RE SPENDING NEW YEARS EVE
    30 December 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    I feel hung over already.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    OFFENSIVE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES
    27 October 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Jordan Monsell
    Or are they?
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    I AM NOT A COFFEE SHOP DOUCHEBAG
    26 May 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Martin Stranka
    You can't judge me because I'm going to judge you first.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    REASONS PEOPLE GET MARRIED
    04 September 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Don't worry, it's sarcastic.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    LIFE AMONGST EXTRAS
    30 June 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Because getting a desk job sucks THAT much.
  • SPLOOGED
    PREMATURE EJACULATION AND DARWIN
    13 August 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Julián Astelarra
    Are you a limp dick pansy or just highly evolved?
  • BIGGIE VS. TUPAC
    I AM NOT A BOSTON DOUCHEBAG
    09 July 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Michal Tokarczuk
    But I do like CHOW-DER.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    MAD LIBS: OBAMA’S CONGRESSIONAL ADDRESS
    14 September 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Jordi
    What he should have said.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    PRETENTIOUS SINGERS REFERENCE MANUAL
    09 November 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Doug Chang
    In honor of U2's recent concert in LA, we give you...
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    WHAT’S IN YOUR TRICK-OR-TREAT BAG?
    30 October 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk (Photo By Mans Sandstrom)
    I swear, this candy corn is worse than razorblades and poison.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    GET YOUR FUCKING DOG AWAY FROM ME
    06 October 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Clayton Hauck
    But bring your pussy around anytime.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    WHO’S COMING TO THANKSGIVING DINNER?
    25 November 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Just be glad your relatives aren't giving you disease ridden blankets after you're done eating.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    WHY DO I STILL HAVE A LANDLINE?
    22 September 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Liva Rutmane
    Because AT&T spends millions of advertising dollars telling me I need one?
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    FOCUS GROUPS ARE POINTLESS
    03 August 2009 / Writer: Tim Saccardo / Artist: Jason McKittrick
    But they pay you money.
  • Becky Bain
    3

    Becky likes to scuba dive, sky dive, make movies, drink fancy wine and travel. But all of those hobbies are pretty expensive, so she usually just sticks to writing. Words are cheap.

  • Hillel Aron
    4

    Hillel enjoys playing racquetball, eating steak, and reading about the American civil war. You can see him write about politics at www.dipdive.com. You can also find him on facebook and tell him how funny he is.

  • Geoffrey Golden
    5

    Geoffrey began his life watching The Muppets, and he'll die watching The Muppets.  He's written for Cracked, Warner Bros., the New York Television Festival, and has his own site called Trophy Bomb.  He loves both Capcom and Marvel equally, and wonders why they have to fight so much?

  • Michelle Lewis
    6

    Michelle was raised in the South, where she was taught "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." So, instead, she writes.

  • Rick Paulas
    7

    Rick Paulas has never written a serious thing in his life, some of which can be found at ESPN The Magazine, McSweeney's, Radar Magazine, Deadspin, and other nonsensically-named websites. In short: If you'll pay, he'll write.

  • Kirk Pynchon
    8

    Kirk Pynchon was born a poor black child. He enjoys skinny-skiing and going to bullfights on acid. He also listens to Tito Puente albums until four in the morning.  In his spare time Kirk enjoys ripping off lines from movies and pretending they are his own.

  • Clem Rorsch
    9

    Clem Rorsch aka Ryan Sandoval is a writer and comedian based in Los Angeles, with articles published in Hustler, Slap Skateboard Magazine, and Surf Shot Digital Magazine, for which he also acts as copy editor. He contributes regularly to Mad Atoms, and writes and directs videos for the online sketch collective weaknights.com

  • Snuffy Johnson
    10

    Snuffy Johnson was born the son of poor parents in Queens, then opened a chain of dry-cleaning stores on the East side of Manhattan.  He has been married to his wife Weezy for almost thirty years, and they have a son, Lionel, who disappointed him by marrying the daughter of the honky next door.