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  • Junior Owens
    11

    Junior Owens lives inside a protective force field of sarcasm.  Unfortunately said force field does not take the place of wearing rubbers, which he had to learn the hard way.

  • Haphestus Foster
    12

    Haphestus Foster threw away the tiny vestige of credibility he had as a reporter and photographer with the Stars and Stripes newspaper to waste untold thousands of dollars on a screenwriting degree at USC, where he literally pays people to tell him his work sucks. He has a deep knowledge of cheeses and has been to Antarctica.

  • Alexandra Wayne
    13

    Alexandra is a screenwriter living in Los Angeles, which means she spends most of her time reading and writing coverage for your scripts. She asks that you please stop writing thinly veiled rehashings of your teenage angst disguised as screenplays about vampires.

  • Alex D. Reid
    14

    Alex D. Reid flosses every night and likes reading about serial killers.  Contact him here.

  • Ben Siemon
    15

    Ben drove from Phoenix to LA in a 2006 puke-green Pontiac Vibe, and never looked back. Ben is a writer, improviser, and performer that can be seen weekly at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre LA. Ben also contributes to the Black Eyed Peas website "DipDive.com", and has a nose that is probably bigger than yours.

  • Jack McCready
    16

    Jack likes beer, Heavy Metal, and weird porn – usually in that order. He is a part time actor and a mediocre screenwriter. Most days (and nights) he feels like a two dollar whore on nickel night – and likes it.

     

  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    DON’T DRINK BONG WATER
    13 July 2009 / Writer: Jack McCready / Artist: Zachary Zezima
    And please don't eat the bong either.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    GAYS THROW THE BEST WEDDINGS
    27 May 2009 / Writer: Jack McCready / Artist: Jana De Laet
    Would you expect anything less than fabulous?
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    WAKE N’ BAKE
    29 June 2009 / Writer: Jack McCready / Artist: Martin Stranka
    Because you're basically high when you wake up anyways.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    WHY VIN DIESEL IS RICH AND FAMOUS
    22 April 2009 / Writer: Jack McCready / Artist: Sean Metcalf
    It's your fault, America.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    SLEAZELESS ON THE SUNSET STRIP
    21 April 2009 / Writer: Jack McCready / Artist: Micael Póvoa
    Welcome to the Starbucks jungle.
  • Jon Sullivan
    17

    Jon Sullivan recently moved from Arkansas, and now lives with a family of sea lions in a cave on the Oregon coast. The cave is cold and dark, the smell is dreadful, and the noise of reverberated barking is blaring and constant. Still beats living in the South.

  • Mark Harris
    18

    Mark Harris is the token black guy and is good at it. After all, he's been the token black guy writing for websites like PopMatters, About.com, Napster, and even his own site, BlackHorrorMovies.com. So, don't any of you ambitious Negroes get any ideas about invading his turf; there can be only one.

  • S.H. Blannelberry
    19

    Born on the 4th of July, S.H. Blannelberry was once a swinger of birches.  Until the forest burned down.  And, although his Fireworks Display Operator Certification has been unceremoniously revoked following the accident, he still retains his manhood (in a glass jar, on his nightstand). 

  • Matt Manser
    20

    Matt Manser is a writer/comedian based in Los Angeles.  He is the head writer for "Big News," a weekly topical sketch show at IO West, writes sketches for shows at the UCB Theater, and writes videos for UCBComedy.com.  Oh, and he has also written for CMT's "Trick My Truck."