Mad Atoms

Living in LA I’ve grown pretty desensitized to seeing weird crap while driving, but I’ve become hypnotized by an insane roving roadside vendor in Hollywood who sells not fruit nor rugs nor jewelry nor CD’s, but… 

Tigers.

Stuffed tigers. Some small, some gigantic. But just tigers. On the street. 

Perhaps you’ve seen the stand yourself. Perhaps it has already bedeviled your dreams too. It raises so many damn questions. Namely… Why? Why tigers? Why only tigers? Why on the street? Where did they come from? Did they find an abandoned truck full of them? Do they ever sell any?  

I had to have answers to these questions. So the last time I spotted the stand – on the corner of Highland and Melrose – I finally stopped my car. 

And what did I learn? Well, for one - it’s called LA Tigers, and upon closer inspection they don’t only sell tigers. They also had two lions, a cheetah and a handful of those ridiculous paintings of waterfalls and ocean views that you plug into the wall and they’ll light up and make sounds.

They had one of The Last Supper, which I was very excited about (what sort of sounds would that make?), but the dude I talked to said it didn’t move or make sounds cause that would be “weird.”  Keep in mind he said that standing in front of 40 stuffed tigers set up outside a Mobil station.  

As for the tigers themselves: they’re imported from China, and supposedly have light-up eyes and roar. None had batteries, so who knows if that’s true. Oh, and the largest ones can purportedly hold 400 lbs on their back!  

As to why tigers - that question got me a dirty look. As did whether or not he ever sold any. “Everyday” was the answer I got.

I also learned that there are two such “shops,” which helps explain its creepy ever-presence in Hollywood. The dude directed me their website (latigers.com) which didn’t seem to exist when I went on-line later.   

I’m still left with questions. Why tigers?! Why not monkeys or puppies or bears? Is the whole thing a front for something else? Once they’ve sold all the tigers will they activate them and wreak terrible horrors upon Los Angeles?  

Be afraid.