Mad Atoms

I'm approaching the one-year mark of being unemployed -- something I like to call "freelancing" -- and I'm here to tell you that you can scrape by in this land of $500,000, 800-square foot houses without a "real" job or any sense of "responsibility". Here's a sampling of what you can do to live and/or die in LA:

Game show run-thru: Before a new game show is greenlit, they film run-thrus with real people to get a sense of how it will work. They'll pay you $50 to go through the motions for an hour or two, as long as you're energetic. It helps to freebase beforehand.

Studio focus group: You can get $50 or $75 to spend a couple of hours watching some crap TV show pilot starring Richard Grieco or Ian Ziering. It beats selling bone marrow.

Extra work: It's like being an intern, except you don't have to do anything, and you get paid. Plus you get to see what an ass Kiefer Sutherland is behind the scenes.

Sell CDs at Amoeba: A reliable option, as long as you can deal with the snotty sales clerk's disdain for your musical taste. Yes, I know these CDs suck; that's why I'm trying to sell them.

Freelance paparazzi: Celebrities are LA’s greatest natural resource outside of Mexicans. Use them as God intended: as social piñatas.

"Adult" gig: Craigslist is loaded with opportunities for the morally bankrupt; all you need is an open mind and even more open legs. Chances are you’ll be covered in bodily fluids at some point in your life anyway, so why not get paid for it?

Casting agent: You’d be surprised how easy it is to start your own casting agency—as easy as saying, "I have my own casting agency." If the price is right, cheap indie flicks will come, and you’ll get to be entertained by how far actors are willing to go for a non-union gig that pays in cheese sandwiches.