Mad Atoms

You probably don't recognize him, but that's the Scottish guy from 300, minus the beard, abs, and Scottishness. The girl, of course, is Katherine Hegel, star of Knocked Up and great great great granddaughter of German philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.

You know this movie is going to suffer from a complete lack of the funny from the poster, which shows the bathroom icons of a man and a woman. A heart is drawn over the girl's head, and over the guy's dick. Get it?

Hegel basically plays the same role as the one she had in Knocked Up, the hot successful working woman. This character was a lot cooler before the economy tanked. Now it just reminds us of our own shortcomings. The 300 guy plays a Howard Stern - like shock jock who tells it like it is. This might have been shocking like 6,000 years ago, before man invented fire. Ever since hip-hop took over the world, it’s pretty hard to offend anyone without using some combination of the words cunt, open, and sore.

And let’s not forget E, the delightful irish fellow from that horrible show Entourage.

It must be hard for E, not because he’s a midget, but because he’s not a movie star and has no personality whatsoever. Only big-time movie stars are allowed to have no personality. The fact that they even left him in the preview proves that this movie is gonna be about as funny as the Armenian genocide.

Also, I kept expecting the 300 guy to stab Hegel in the throat with a spear, but maybe they just left that part out of the preview.

So 300 guy teaches Hegel how to get a boyfriend, which sounds kind of like me teaching LeBron James how to dunk a basketball, but whatevs. I must admit, I am curious if Hegel ends up sleeping with the 300 guy in the end. It would certainly fit the Hegelian dialectical model.