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POLITICALLY ERECT

THE AUDACITY OF OBAMA VOLUNTEERS

04.04

I’ve been a Barack Obama supporter for more than a year, ever since he was rumored to be running for President. I’ve given money to his campaign. I’ve also volunteered for him. These were fairly pleasant experiences with only one major drawback: the other volunteers.

The first thing I noticed was the cheering. Between the incessant “FIRE IT UP! READY TO GO!” and the perfectly inane “YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!” Barack Obama rallies often feel like attending summer camp in Maoist China.

In Los Angeles, Barack Obama got a big bump from the hipster community. These volunteers were the least obnoxious I encountered. Hipsters have emotional detachment down to an exact science.

Sadly, these were the exception. Most Obamanauts are inflicted with hypersensitive emotions. They love to cry, or talk about how they cried when they heard some Obama speech.