Mad Atoms

The following story was told to me by a female acquaintance of mine (I’ll call her Jenny, which is not her name but the name of an old girlfriend who once dumped my ass). 

Jenny was working on a short video project and was using a male friend of hers as the cameraman. The project took longer than they thought and the male friend had to call in sick for work (for a job he apparently hated and said was no problem not going to). At the end of the day when they had finally finished Jenny told her male friend:

“I am so thankful that you took the entire day to film this video and I feel really bad that you had to take the day off from work. I have absolutely no money so I can’t pay you anything, but as my way of saying thanks I want to give you a blowjob. I don’t want you to get weird about it, it’s not a big deal and it won’t mean anything, but it’s something I want to do to show my appreciation for helping me on this project. Okay?”

And of course the male friend responded with an enthusiastic, “Okay!”

Now many thoughts ran into my head when Jenny told me this. The first thing that popped into my head was, why the fuck are you telling me this?

Are you that proud of this blowjob, Jenny? While you were sucking this guy off were you thinking, “You know, I am such a nice person for chugging this cock.” Or maybe you thought you were being financially savvy, Jenny. Maybe as you were gagging on penis you were thinking, ‘I am not a whore. I am just being frugal.” 

Which brings me to my second question. Why go straight to the sexual favor? I know you’re broke, but did it ever occur to you that there are other ways of thanking the guy? How about cooking him dinner? Or maybe baking him some cookies? Hell, or even offering to mend some ripped jeans? But you just had to go straight to the blowjob, didn’t you Jenny? Never even gave it a second thought, huh? 

The biggest question I had was…when does it stop? She already crossed over the line in giving sexual favors for free, so why stop now? From now on whenever Jenny was strapped for cash and someone helped her out was she going to be like -  

“ Hey, I really appreciate this ride to the airport. Would you like me to jerk you off?”

Or -  

“ You know, I am so grateful that you are helping me to move. Let me suck your balls.” 

Or -  

“Thank you so much for letting me borrow your fondue pot. Go ahead and fuck me in the ass.” 

Of course I told none of these thoughts to Jenny. I just looked at her and said as nicely as I could, “Hey let me know when you’re doing another video project. I’d be happy to help.”

[Editors Note: The opinions of the author do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Mad Atoms. In fact, we at Mad Atoms believe blowjobs are the best way of saying thank you.]