Mad Atoms

Now that The Sopranos and The Wire are over, Bourgeoise television has entered a period of malaise. What will be the next great American TV show for white people?  

Many people seem to think the savior is already here, and it’s name is Showtime. Before things get out of hand, I’d just like to say: you people are idiots.  

Weeds? This piece of garbage started out as a vehicle for making bad jokes about Suburban America. Oh, there’s a fresh target. People have been calling suburban life boring and sterile since the ’50’s. This season, Weeds finally cut and ran to Mexico, where it’s plot grew more and more ridiculous. Kevin Nealon is the only decent part of this mediocre soap opera. He’s the Jeremy Piven of Weeds. 

The Tudors? It’s decent as porn, I guess.

[Editor's Note: Hillel has clearly never seen good porn.]

But the dialogue is horrible, the plot is boring, and the production value is a few dollars more than your average middle school play. And why is that British guy always scowling? Cheer up London Calling, you’re rich! 

Penn and Teller Bullshit takes on such hard hitting topics as Alien Abduction and Fen Shui. They’re such skeptics! 

They don’t care whose sacred cows they slaughter. Someone tell the fat guy that being a Libertarian doesn’t automatically make you smart (see Bob Barr). 

I never saw Dexter but it looks really dumb. Never saw The L Word either. Showing that many hot lesbians in one show seems like false advertising.

The worst one has got to be Californication, which is surprising, cause usually shows named after Red Hot Chili Pepper albums are so amazing.  It’s exactly like every other story about a writer with writer’s block (wants to get back together with ex-wife, screws ungerage girl, boring sub-plot about agent) only the dialogue feels like it was written by a midwestern community college screenwriting workshop. The main character (the always animated Dave Duchovney) denounces LA as shallow, then goes and buys a porsche. Hey, I’ve met this guy before. In fact, just last night I dreamt about throwing a brick at the back of his head.  

Showtime’s overarching problem is that they want to be edgy, they want to challenge the social norms. But the only person that can afford Showtime (who probably also has HBO even though it sucks now too, don’t even get me started on that new Vampire show) isn’t going to be shocked by a mom that sells weed or a couple of hot lesbians.

Ok, This American Life is pretty good. Too bad they make like six episodes a year, and the radio show’s better anyway. I preferred it when I didn’t know what Ira Glass looked like. I imagined him bald and pudgy. Not sure why