Mad Atoms

Normally reaching out to teenagers online gets you a subpoena for your laptop or face time with Chris Hanson. But I’m willing to risk those consequences to talk--or rap, if you prefer--with teens reading this about a very important issue: World of Warcraft is so addictive, it makes people drop out of college.

“Gosh,” I heard you thinking, “I don’t want to endanger my education and my future for a videogame!” 

You are right to be concerned about your future. But before you cancel your WoW account and send in that Stanford application, you need to consider: is college better that World of Warcraft? 

Here are a few scenarios where Warcraft is the smart choice:

Scenario 1: You’re in college majoring in a field of study – for example, you’re majoring in, say, anything. Chances are, all the jobs in that field will probably be based in India by the time you graduate. So here you are, in your mid 20’s working 4 hours a day at Dairy Queen, and you can only afford food and online entertainment that can be enjoyed for under $20 a month.  

Not only are you now a half-a-million dollars in debt, you are also five years behind in the one thing you had a chance of real achievement: World of Warcaft. 

Scenario 2: President Palin is elected in 2012, and saves the country from this miserable Obama economy. However, with her ascension, America turns its back on science, education, and knowledge. People with advanced degrees are rounded up and forced to fight as foot soldiers in the war against Russia.  

How’s the degree working out now, college boy? 

Scenario 3: You dislike dorm rooms and having sex.  

As you can see, choosing between higher education and WoW isn’t as easy as it looks. When making your decision, remember, nothing is sadder than a Warcraft dropout.