Mad Atoms

When we were young, it began to happen. Pictures of naked women. For free. Right there on a magical box in your own house.

Sure, back then we only had dial-up modems and we were using CompuServe and Prodigy, but at the time it was glorious. Afterschool, before the parents came home, we would gather at my house. The first kid on the block with Internet access made me more popular than you would think.

Each picture would load agonizingly slowly, filling in pixel by pixel. We would cover the monitor with our little hands so no one got a sneak peak before the whole thing was on screen.

And it was awesome. We knew how to fully delete all traces of our online adventures so the adults wouldn’t find out. Clear history. Empty trash.

But times changed. We got older, the Internet got faster. And the porn monster grew bigger and bigger.

Now there’s such a mind blowing amount of new porn videos posted online it’s almost intimidating. And it’s changing the way we masturbate.

You no longer have those couple of pictures and video clips saved in that secret folder (discreetly labeled “stuff”) that you go back to over and over, almost monogamously. It’s not enough anymore. The porn industry has once again leaped to the forefront of technology. They have high quality streams and practical rating systems that have beautiful chicks swallowing swollen pricks right in front of your eyes before you’re even done typing pornorama.com.

But you can’t just jerk off to one clip anymore. There’s so much more to look at. How can I skeet to Alison sucking Tom when there’s a link to Brad fucking Jenny one click away?

People used to fantasize about their high school sweetheart when they were man handling themselves. Now you can find your high school sweetheart getting pounded by Peter North,and it’s still not good enough.

And if I have to simultaneously watch 3 gangbangs on my dual monitors to get off, how will my future wife ever please me?