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  • Worm Miller
    1

    In 1957, Worm tragically drowned at camp while counselors were inconsiderately having sex. Or so everyone thought. Ambiguously undead, Worm vengefully returned decades later and has been happily killing sexy idiots ever since. He's fought Corey Feldman and Freddy Krueger and gone into space. He hopes someday to fight Michael Meyers and a Predator.

  • Calvin Rockefeller
    2

    Calvin usually sleeps, eats and poops at least once a day. He likes to make jokes, which usually involve a sexual organ of some sort since that's far easier than coming up with something original. On the weekends he enjoys exposing himself in the ball pit at McDonald's Play Places.

  • Mark Harris
    3

    Mark Harris is the token black guy and is good at it. After all, he's been the token black guy writing for websites like PopMatters, About.com, Napster, and even his own site, BlackHorrorMovies.com. So, don't any of you ambitious Negroes get any ideas about invading his turf; there can be only one.

  • Snuffy Johnson
    4

    Snuffy Johnson was born the son of poor parents in Queens, then opened a chain of dry-cleaning stores on the East side of Manhattan.  He has been married to his wife Weezy for almost thirty years, and they have a son, Lionel, who disappointed him by marrying the daughter of the honky next door.

  • SPLOOGED
    SHE RUBBED ME THE WRONG WAY
    18 July 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Maria Rodrigues
    A Thai massage gone horribly pleasurable.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    CANDY FOR RICH ASSHOLES
    16 September 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Brandy Eve Allen
    Rich people are better than you and me, which is why they deserve a better class of candy.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    ALCOHOLISM’S NOT AS FUN AS YOU’D THINK
    22 October 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Dan Monick
    But it makes you a better writer. Occasionally. Or just a raging asshole.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    HOW I LOST MY SECOND JOB
    26 December 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Janusz Miller
    Hint: Cocaine played a large part
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    GRAD SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND
    18 December 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Mike Ranevsky
    Not the good trust-fund kind.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    HOW I QUIT COKE
    28 October 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Vladlena Shevelova
    Being a cokehead’s all fun and games, until someone loses their freedom.
  • HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
    I’VE TURNED INTO A DOUCHE WITHOUT A TV
    26 November 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Katarzyna Borelowska
    Not because I’m pretentious. Because I’m cheap.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    NOBODY’S JEWISH THESE DAYS
    10 November 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Svyatoslav Palenyy
    Well, nobody under 50.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    HOW NOT TO PROPOSE TO THE WOMAN YOU LOVE
    19 September 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Kim Shillington
    Twice.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    WINE TASTINGS: THE RELATIONSHIP KILLER
    02 October 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Rafael
    Wine tastings in Santa Barbara conjure up romantic images straight out of SIDEWAYS. Spending a couples weekend together. Maybe picking up a trampy waitress at a restaurant. Or realizing your life as a writer is a fraud.
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    DATA RECOVERY: SCAM OF THE CENTURY
    03 October 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Svyatoslav Palenyy
    You charge me way too much and probably look at those naked pictures of myself I took for "research."
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    DON’T WORK WITH FAMILY
    17 November 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Marek Haiduk
    Unless your last name is Spielberg.
  • BIGGIE VS. TUPAC
    FLORIDA: AMERICA’S WANG
    11 December 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Kalif Banane
    Everytime I leave Caifornia, I remember why I came here in the first place.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    SEMI-USEFUL ADVICE MY PARENTS GAVE ME
    22 August 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Johanna Reed
    I love my parents. They’ve always been there with a shoulder to cry on when I need it and a check when I get laid off and can’t make my rent. The one quibble I’ve got is that they give me a lot of advice.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    LOFTS: WHERE DOUCHES DWELL
    06 October 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Jonathan Jacobsen
    You can get really good smack near the Staples Center.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE WEEK I WORE A SUIT TO WORK
    25 July 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Geoff Moore
    Clothing makes the man...seem more important than he is.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    THE DOUCHIEST RESTAURANT IN LA
    23 September 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Clara McGuire
    Hint: It's Japanese.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    BRILLIANT SCRIPTS: GHOST EDITION
    03 September 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Andrew Farrington
    Over the years, as an assistant and a development exec, I must have read at least 10,000 scripts. Most were terrible Matrix rip-offs, but it's gems like these that get me out of bed in the morning.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    TRIVIAL PURSUITS
    29 September 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Mathiole
    Useless knowledge = free booze.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    FONTANA: HELL ON EARTH
    26 August 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Vladimir Perlovich
    An unbiased travel guide.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    D-GUY: I GIVE NOTES
    04 August 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Kareem Rizk
    I’ve slaved in the Hollywood trenches as a “development executive” for years now. What’s that mean? That I don’t actually write, produce or direct movies. Instead, I give “notes” to people who do.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    WATCHING MOVIES ON TOP OF DEAD PEOPLE
    25 September 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Vance Hernandez
    And gettin' a handjob too, if you're lucky.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    ARCLIGHT ADVENTURES
    13 October 2008 / Writer: Snuffy Johnson / Artist: Damir Alter Matijevic
    The Arclight used to be for film snobs. What happened?
  • Becky Bain
    5

    Becky likes to scuba dive, sky dive, make movies, drink fancy wine and travel. But all of those hobbies are pretty expensive, so she usually just sticks to writing. Words are cheap.

  • McLean McGown
    6

    McLean is an actress/writer from the lovely land of Nashville. She spends her time hiking alone in the hills, writing alone in her apartment, going on lame auditions, and dodging douche bags. She is celibate but takes prenatal vitamins to make her hair grow.

  • Amanda Egge
    7

    Amanda Egge is a writer and comedian living in Los Angeles.  She is also really cute.  If you would like to support her career she is looking for a sponsor/sugar daddy.  She probably will not sleep with you (unless you are also really cute,) but she promises many laughs and inappropriate jokes in exchange for paying her Visa bill.

  • Gus Winkler
    8

    Gus has a very lax attitude towards other people's feelings. He has lived in Los Angeles for a decade and enjoys how impersonal and emotionally barren the city is. Gus enjoys extreme pornography, reflecting on past failures, not having children, and being ignored.

  • Hillel Aron
    9

    Hillel enjoys playing racquetball, eating steak, and reading about the American civil war. You can see him write about politics at www.dipdive.com. You can also find him on facebook and tell him how funny he is.

  • Bob Schriner
    10

    Stories of Bob Schriner conjure images of a man whose pranks and scams are a blend of crime, audacity and high comedy. For years people debated whether he was a fictional character. MadAtoms has found him and given him a safe house in the Hollywood hills.