Mad Atoms

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  • Worm Miller
    1

    In 1957, Worm tragically drowned at camp while counselors were inconsiderately having sex. Or so everyone thought. Ambiguously undead, Worm vengefully returned decades later and has been happily killing sexy idiots ever since. He's fought Corey Feldman and Freddy Krueger and gone into space. He hopes someday to fight Michael Meyers and a Predator.

  • Gus Winkler
    2

    Gus has a very lax attitude towards other people's feelings. He has lived in Los Angeles for a decade and enjoys how impersonal and emotionally barren the city is. Gus enjoys extreme pornography, reflecting on past failures, not having children, and being ignored.

  • Amanda Egge
    3

    Amanda Egge is a writer and comedian living in Los Angeles.  She is also really cute.  If you would like to support her career she is looking for a sponsor/sugar daddy.  She probably will not sleep with you (unless you are also really cute,) but she promises many laughs and inappropriate jokes in exchange for paying her Visa bill.

  • McLean McGown
    4

    McLean is an actress/writer from the lovely land of Nashville. She spends her time hiking alone in the hills, writing alone in her apartment, going on lame auditions, and dodging douche bags. She is celibate but takes prenatal vitamins to make her hair grow.

  • Mark Harris
    5

    Mark Harris is the token black guy and is good at it. After all, he's been the token black guy writing for websites like PopMatters, About.com, Napster, and even his own site, BlackHorrorMovies.com. So, don't any of you ambitious Negroes get any ideas about invading his turf; there can be only one.

  • Snuffy Johnson
    6

    Snuffy Johnson was born the son of poor parents in Queens, then opened a chain of dry-cleaning stores on the East side of Manhattan.  He has been married to his wife Weezy for almost thirty years, and they have a son, Lionel, who disappointed him by marrying the daughter of the honky next door.

  • Calvin Rockefeller
    7

    Calvin usually sleeps, eats and poops at least once a day. He likes to make jokes, which usually involve a sexual organ of some sort since that's far easier than coming up with something original. On the weekends he enjoys exposing himself in the ball pit at McDonald's Play Places.

  • ALL FOR ROFL
    MY BOUT WITH CANCER
    29 August 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Andrea H Kwang
    I thought I was invincible. I even thought that I might be The Highlander. WedMD thought otherwise.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    THE LORENZO LAMAS STARE DOWN
    12 November 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Jasmin aka Minniwar
    I've stared into the eyes of "The Renegade", peered into his dark and mysterious soul, and lived to tell about it.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    5 FETISHES RUSH LIMBAUGH PROBABLY HAS
    19 August 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Doug Chang
    We can never know for sure what kind of fetishes Rush Limbaugh gets off on, but I’ll sure as hell take a guess.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    WHY I DIDN’T SEE THE DARK KNIGHT LAST WEEKEND
    22 July 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Doug Chang
    Black people may talk during movies, but white people are worse. They incessantly clap.
  • LIVING THE DREAM
    A WHITE COLLAR MASK
    11 July 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Seamus Travers
    Striving to fit in applies to every social scene, including the work place. This was particularly hard for me when I got my first job after college at a medical supply company in Rancho Cucamonga.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    FISA: I DARE YOU TO SURVEILLANCE ME
    05 September 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Adam Hendershott
    Dear W, feel free to read my conversations. I guarantee you won’t like what you find.
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    NOSTRADAMUS ON $5/GALLON
    09 July 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Jeffrey M. Harp
    As you know from the forwarded e-mails you get from people whose favorite book is The Da Vinci Code, Nostradamus has accurately predicted every major disaster from the stock market crash of 1929 to 9/11. The Gas Crisis of 2008 is no different.
  • MADATOMS PERSONALS
    FIND YOUR SUGARDADDY
    07 March 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Tamara Beatrycze Rotten
    Because blowing a pair of saggy balls is much less painless than working 9-5 for 50 years...
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    GOOGLE TRENDS ANALYSIS
    30 September 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: William A. Clark
    Quantifiable proof that America is doomed.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    DODGER DOGGED
    17 July 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Derek Erdman
    Not everyone likes baseball. If you don’t, and you’re somehow forced to go, make sure you sit in the “All You Can Eat” seats. At least then, you’ll be entertained.
  • DEVELOPMENT HELL
    MUSIC FROM ENGLAND: BUGGER OFF
    18 September 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Geoff Moore
    And you thought American music was bad?
  • POLITICALLY ERECT
    AN OPEN LETTER TO CHINA
    10 April 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Roberlan Borges
    I wonder if this will get us banned by the Chinese government...
  • ALL FOR ROFL
    FUN WITH YAHOO! ANSWERS
    28 February 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Betsaida
    Yahoo! Answers is where Yahoo! users are free to ask pretty much any question their heart desires, and anyone is allowed to answer. There lies the inherent problem.
  • CRITIQUE OF A CRITIC
    FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL
    02 May 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Maria Rodrigues
    Most movie critics have no qualifications to be telling people what to watch. They ‘analyze’ movies with no accountability and no one to make sure they’re doing their jobs. That is, until now.
  • BIGGIE VS. TUPAC
    STREET CYNIC: NEW YORK
    15 July 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Koray Arman
    My attempts to "interview" a New Yorker illustrate the cultural superiority of the Northeast.
  • LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
    HATING PEOPLE HELPS
    27 February 2008 / Writer: Calvin Rockefeller / Artist: Maxyme Grenier-Delisle
    Do you ever find yourself angry and/or bored but don’t have any loved ones to take it out on? I know I do. The problem is, I can’t just go around verbally abusing innocent bystanders. But if I could choose an innocent by-stander, I'd choose...
  • Hillel Aron
    8

    Hillel enjoys playing racquetball, eating steak, and reading about the American civil war. You can see him write about politics at www.dipdive.com. You can also find him on facebook and tell him how funny he is.

  • Haphestus Foster
    9

    Haphestus Foster threw away the tiny vestige of credibility he had as a reporter and photographer with the Stars and Stripes newspaper to waste untold thousands of dollars on a screenwriting degree at USC, where he literally pays people to tell him his work sucks. He has a deep knowledge of cheeses and has been to Antarctica.

  • Becky Bain
    10

    Becky likes to scuba dive, sky dive, make movies, drink fancy wine and travel. But all of those hobbies are pretty expensive, so she usually just sticks to writing. Words are cheap.