In 1957, Worm tragically drowned at camp while counselors were inconsiderately having sex. Or so everyone thought. Ambiguously undead, Worm vengefully returned decades later and has been happily killing sexy idiots ever since. He's fought Corey Feldman and Freddy Krueger and gone into space. He hopes someday to fight Michael Meyers and a Predator.
Calvin Rockefeller
2
Calvin usually sleeps, eats and poops at least once a day. He likes to make jokes, which usually involve a sexual organ of some sort since that's far easier than coming up with something original. On the weekends he enjoys exposing himself in the ball pit at McDonald's Play Places.
Mark Harris
3
Mark Harris is the token black guy and is good at it. After all, he's been the token black guy writing for websites like PopMatters, About.com, Napster, and even his own site, BlackHorrorMovies.com. So, don't any of you ambitious Negroes get any ideas about invading his turf; there can be only one.
Snuffy Johnson
4
Snuffy Johnson was born the son of poor parents in Queens, then opened a chain of dry-cleaning stores on the East side of Manhattan. He has been married to his wife Weezy for almost thirty years, and they have a son, Lionel, who disappointed him by marrying the daughter of the honky next door.
Becky Bain
5
Becky likes to scuba dive, sky dive, make movies, drink fancy wine and travel. But all of those hobbies are pretty expensive, so she usually just sticks to writing. Words are cheap.
McLean McGown
6
McLean is an actress/writer from the lovely land of Nashville. She spends her time hiking alone in the hills, writing alone in her apartment, going on lame auditions, and dodging douche bags. She is celibate but takes prenatal vitamins to make her hair grow.
Amanda Egge
7
Amanda Egge is a writer and comedian living in Los Angeles. She is also really cute. If you would like to support her career she is looking for a sponsor/sugar daddy. She probably will not sleep with you (unless you are also really cute,) but she promises many laughs and inappropriate jokes in exchange for paying her Visa bill.
Gus Winkler
8
Gus has a very lax attitude towards other people's feelings. He has lived in Los Angeles for a decade and enjoys how impersonal and emotionally barren the city is. Gus enjoys extreme pornography, reflecting on past failures, not having children, and being ignored.
Hillel Aron
9
Hillel enjoys playing racquetball, eating steak, and reading about the American civil war. You can see him write about politics at www.dipdive.com. You can also find him on facebook and tell him how funny he is.
BIGGIE VS. TUPAC
DON’T HATE LA, HATE YOURSELF
13 November 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Michael Going
I own a t-shirt that reads "I heart LA." Almost every time I wear it, someone asks me, “Is that a joke?”
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
BOMBS OVER ECHO PARK
10 July 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Hillel Aron
Celebrating Independence Day like our founding fathers: with Hipsters and Mexicans.
DEVELOPMENT HELL
HOW TO FIX ENTOURAGE
01 December 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Alexandra Migueis
I can't believe I still watch this stupid show.
HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
INTERVIEW WITH A HIPSTER, PART 1
24 July 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Hillel Aron
Probing the mind of the hipster, one interview at a time. If you're planning on living east of Hollywood, take careful notes.
HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
THE RECORD STORE CLERK IS DEAD!
08 July 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Miquel Galceran
Long live the record store clerk! Who else will make us feel like complete morons?
DEVELOPMENT HELL
FUCK SHOWTIME
17 September 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Mathiole
If you’re an underpaid, overeducated, downwardly mobile white guy living in the big city, you probably think Showtime is the new HBO. Here’s why you’re wrong.
POLITICALLY ERECT
I WANT TO SEE STOCKBROKERS FALLING FROM THE SKY
30 September 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Dan Monick
How bad do the markets have to get for investment bankers to start diving off of skyscrapers?
TRAILER TRASH
BURN AFTER READING
08 August 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Doug Chang
Will it be the next Big Lebowski or just another Intolerable Cruelty?
ALL FOR ROFL
WHY DOES APPLE LOVE THE WORD GENIUS?
14 October 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Randall MacDonald
Genius Bar. Genius Playlist. What the fuck?
TRAILER TRASH
WANTED
23 May 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Nadia Lavard
It’s the Matrix meets the Matrix, with Angelina Jolie as Angelina Jolie, Morgan Freeman as Morgan Freeman, and that twerpy Scottish kid from Atonement as Luke/Neo/Jesus. Oh and you’ll never guess what his super-power is…
TRAILER TRASH
VALKYRIE
15 September 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Emil
Tom Cruise. Wearing an eye patch. Fighting Hitler. It’s like someone made a movie just for me.
TRAILER TRASH
JUMPER
18 February 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Andrius Zaksauskas
Not based on the terrible Third Eye Blind song...
HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
TIGER WOODS. WHAT A PUSSY.
16 July 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Doug Chang
This guy hurt his knee playing golf?
HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
INTERVIEW WITH A HIPSTER, PART 2
12 August 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Hillel Aron
Probing the mind of the hipster, one interview at a time. Today, we speak with… yet another Jared.
DEVELOPMENT HELL
HOW LONG UNTIL MILEY CYRUS GOES BATSHIT CRAZY?
01 July 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Ezra Crow
At 15, Cyrus may be “going through some changes.” Will those changes include a complete mental break? Or is that further down the road?
BIGGIE VS. TUPAC
YANKEE GO HOME!
31 December 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Adam Hendershott
Why I hate New Yorkers.
TRAILER TRASH
IRON MAN
26 February 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Romain Revert
Iron Man is responsible for the next terrorist attack.
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
THIS STUPID CELL PHONE LAW
30 June 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Nil Ultra
If you think that driving while talking on a cell phone is dangerous, you should see all the crazy shit that I do!
ALL FOR ROFL
USA VS. IPHONE
11 July 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Adam Hendershott
Weighing the costs and benefits of the United States Government and the iPhone. What have they done for me lately?
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
GIVING MONEY TO THE HOMELESS
08 August 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Adam Hendershott
How I choose which homeless person gets how much.
TRAILER TRASH
THE SOLOIST
10 November 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
HarlequiNe
I’m not saying you have to be schizophrenic to make it as a classical musician in Los Angeles, but it does help.
TRAILER TRASH
BANGKOK DANGEROUS
29 July 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Johanna Ljungquist
Cage. Haircut. Bad.
TRAILER TRASH
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
15 August 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
lafaette
Brad Pitt stars in the title role as a man who ages backward. Along the way, he encounters such adventures as World War One, black people, and that british girl from Michael Clayton that got all sweaty.
LA SURVIVAL GUIDE
THE DO’S AND DON’TS OF PAING
21 August 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Petitescargot
As a Production Assistant, you can look forward to long hours, back-breaking manual labor, and getting treated like a retarded child. A handy guide to surviving the shittiest job in LA.
HIP TODAY GONE TOMORROW
HIPSTER COFFEE SHOPS: CHOKE
09 April 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Hillel Aron
If you’re the kind of hipster that likes to hang out at places that no one’s ever heard about, then Choke is the place for you.
TRAILER TRASH
SYNECODOCHE, NEW YORK
23 October 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Jonathan Jacobsen
Ok, I'll bite. This looks amazing.
TRAILER TRASH
W
18 September 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Edward McGowan
I can’t wait for the scene where George Bush meets the Indian in the dessert. It’s gonna blow this country’s mind!
POLITICALLY ERECT
SO YOUR HUSBAND’S BEEN CAUGHT IN A SEX SCANDAL
19 March 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Christopher Behrens
Your politician husband’s been fucking somebody else. Hopefully, you haven’t cut his dick off yet.
TRAILER TRASH
TROPIC THUNDER
23 July 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
John O Connell
The making of a Vietnam War film with Robert Downey Jr. as an actor in blackface. Why isn’t this trailer funnier?
DEVELOPMENT HELL
REJECTED BEN AND JERRY’S FLAVORS
12 March 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Agathe
How they turned down Berry Manilow is beyond me.
TRAILER TRASH
J.C.V.D.
14 July 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Scott Church
A self-reflexive meditation on kicking ass the Belgian way. Post-WWII, of course.
DEVELOPMENT HELL
HOW TO FIX THE OLYMPICS
03 September 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Artemis Günebakanli
Sure, this year’s games were the most highly rated of all time. Butlet’s face it, aside from Michael Phelps and that Jamaican guy, the Olympics were long and forgettable. Here’s how to make them better.
TRAILER TRASH
THE WATCHMEN
24 September 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Evan T Shaner
The towers are still standing, we won the war in Nam, and the Smashing Pumpkins are playing their unique brand of Industrial-Emo-Pop. This film must take place in an alternate time-line!
POLITICALLY ERECT
THE AUDACITY OF OBAMA VOLUNTEERS
04 April 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Derek Erdman
I’ve been a Barack Obama supporter for more than a year, ever since he was rumored to be running for President. I’ve given money to his campaign. I’ve also volunteered for him. These were fairly pleasant experiences with only one major drawback: the other volunteers.
TRAILER TRASH
RIGHTEOUS KILL
01 August 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Swordfish-II
Who the hell came up with the title for this movie, a bunch of dirty hippies? “Dude, we should call it Righteous Kill,” bro, cause then it’s like a double meaning. That’d be righteous!”
TRAILER TRASH
WAR, INC.
11 April 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Raphaël Vicenzi
We will fight this war with the most brutal weapon in our arsenal: irony.
TRAILER TRASH
MAMA MIA!
03 June 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Ayse
Movies with an exclamation point in the title are always good except for Moulin Rouge! Oklahoma! Oliver! And Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!
TRAILER TRASH
GRAN TORINO
10 December 2008 / Writer:
Hillel Aron
/ Artist:
Garry Brown
Clint Eastwood wants those lousy Chinamen off his lawn!
Bob Schriner
10
Stories of Bob Schriner conjure images of a man whose pranks and scams are a blend of crime, audacity and high comedy. For years people debated whether he was a fictional character. MadAtoms has found him and given him a safe house in the Hollywood hills.