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LA SURVIVAL GUIDE

FAT PEOPLE NEED TO PAY MORE TO FLY

08.25

U.S. Airways is eliminating their in-flight movies, because the projectors weigh 500-pounds and fuel is getting more expensive. They have already limited the amount of carry-on's and checked baggage you can take on your trip, eagerly whipping out their cocks and shoving them in dry if your baggage is over their weight limit; and now they won't even provide you with a movie to interrupt the horrible tedium of air travel.

Apparently 500 pounds is a significant amount in an Airbus A330 with a maximum take off weight of almost 257 tons, and If I want to take an extra bagful of presents for grandma, the giant metal airplane uses slightly more fuel. Okay, I'm willing to take one for the team, but you know what weighs more then my bags? A fat person. If my bag is five pounds over and they anally rape my wallet, then these waddling tubs I see should get charged for their superfluous flesh. I can’t take a set of golf clubs, but any fatty can wedge their massive bulk into a seat without extra charge? Fuck that.

 A bunch of fatties might call the airlines and wheeze out complaints, but so what. You ever try to complain to an airline? Have fun, chubby. 

Rating:

4 / Total votes: 5



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18 Comment(s)

  • CalvinRockefeller says:
    August 25, 2008 12:42pm What's your stance on Tall people?
    Comment rating: 5
  • Arbi says:
    August 25, 2008 4:57pm Who the fuck are you? Some fat mid-westerner? Guess what people in LA didn't vote for Bush. Ever hear of a place called Santa Monica? It's got fresh ocean air and more electric vehicle charging stations than any other city. And if you don't like alcohol and pot, then fuck you. Learn to have some fun. And develop a sense of humor.
    Comment rating: 2
  • CalvinRockefeller says:
    August 25, 2008 5:02pm Note to all: DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.
    Comment rating: 2
  • Kripto says:
    August 25, 2008 5:01pm Who the fuck am I? Who the fuck are you? You fucking retard! Yes, I have heard of Santa Monica.. It is full of wanna hippy types who think they are "green" and think that Electric Cars are green.. Wake the fuck up you fucking luser! If you use an electric car, you are not being green, you're being a TOOL and pushing off the carbon footprint to the power company. And, for what it is worth, there are more conservative mouth-breathing republicans per square mile in southern California than all of the rest of the state. And you fucking r-tards voted for the Governator! Idiots... The lot of you.
    Comment rating: 1
  • Gerlad says:
    August 25, 2008 10:48pm I'm 250 lbs. My cholesterol is low, blood pressure good, no diabetes. I study kung fu, have for a couple years now. I'm pretty good at it. I'm strong, and I'm balanced, and I'm actually pretty healthy. On the internet, people feel free to spout all the hateful bigotry they want. The kind of venom I hear on blogs, discussion boards and trash journalism sites is reminiscent of nazi Germany. But I'll tell you something.. Never, not once has anyone had the balls to insult me to my face. Maybe it's because I look more threatening than I do fat, because I walk gracefully and with an air of confidence, or maybe I get props because my GF is pretty fine. Or maybe bigots really are cowards. I think it's the latter. Incidentally, bring your big mouth over here, skinny, I'd like to show you what happens when you combine mass, power and speed. Better yet, do yourself a favor and stay in the closet, bigot.
    Comment rating: 1
  • mahuska says:
    August 25, 2008 11:44pm The writer of this article has a point but is ignorant of the true reasons for the fees and restrictions, capitalism. The climate is right to squeeze their clients. They have no problem taking off or flying, they want to increase there profits were they can and it isn't on charging you 25 bucks for your bag, That's just to discourage you from even brings the extra bag. There is less of you above and more freight like over night packages. Im 375 lbs, I'm 6'2" have size 15 feet and my knees always are jammed against the seat in front of me I take up my seat that it. I am in the 99 percentile. I can never find nice clothes just that polyester shit that get left over in large sizes(really who makes that shit)i sit in the back at movies. good luck ever buying; a watch, a belt, shoes, a car, going to any amusement rides, useing ladders,booths at restaurants, couches, dentists chairs, barber chair never go low enough and the list goes on. But i deal. My friends, its going to be a slippery slope when the market economy switches to paying for every thing buy your size, or medical predisposition or other defining factors that make you different that the statistical norm slash highest profitability.
    Comment rating: 1
  • totallyawesomedude says:
    August 25, 2008 11:46pm ah yes, nazi germany, remembered for its free speech.
    Comment rating: 1
  • Todd says:
    August 26, 2008 4:24pm Am I the only one who thought this article was hilarious? Mean, perhaps, but hilarious.
    Comment rating: 1
  • Jake says:
    September 07, 2008 8:13pm I agree with Todd. This was hilarious, but it was mean. But I don't think the writer is really that prejudiced - exaggeration is usually funnier anyway. Be cool.
    Comment rating: 1
  • Kripto says:
    August 25, 2008 4:51pm Wow, that's quite the article. The great thing about being fat is that fat people can lose weight, unlike yourself an idiot that will never learn. Honestly, I'd love to see you pack on some pounds and have to take some of your own medicine. If you need to place blame, you should probably blame mouth-breathers like yourself who buy SUVs, have large houses that require lots of AC (Like in LA which is full of Silocone and douchbags like yourself) and support the moron in office who started this war. Seriously dude, you need to stop the alcohol binges, pot smoking and get out to get some fresh air.. Oh wait, you live in LA.. There is no fresh air down there. Well then, I hope you get your skinny ass on a plane and have to sit between two nice stinky fat people.. :)
    Comment rating: 0
  • Arbi says:
    August 25, 2008 5:06pm Yeah I am a real "luser"... http://rrcc.co.la.ca.us/elect/04110024/rr0024pa.html-ssi
    Comment rating: 0
  • Kripto says:
    August 25, 2008 5:12pm Yup, ya probably are... Sorry to be the one to break it to ya. I'm sure you will get over it at some point.. Maybe after long hours in the therapist chair..
    Comment rating: 0
  • CalvinRockefeller says:
    August 26, 2008 9:04am Gerlad: I don't know anywhere where the article says "people weighing over 250 pounds are fat." I think he was talking about unhealthy obese people, especially ones that don't fit their frame. 250 isn't THAT big especially if you're over 6 feet.
    Comment rating: 0
  • Bitterdude says:
    August 26, 2008 12:10pm Dude they should just make Jumbo Airlines that cater to fatties.
    Comment rating: 0
  • H-Bomb says:
    August 26, 2008 12:05pm yeah, whatever tubby.
    Comment rating: 0
  • crapshoot says:
    August 26, 2008 10:59pm You fatties probably don't notice what a problem being fat is because you've never had anybody overflowing on you from the next seat. And Kripto, you're an idiot; there are more Republicans per square foot in LA because there are more people per square foot in LA. Population density is an amazing thing, bro. Fatties make eugenics look like a good idea, but I'm pretty sure Gus Winkler's opinion won't result in any sort of mass extermination or even an increase in discrimination, so I don't know what you all are so worked up about. I guess what Gus thinks is just that important in modern society.
    Comment rating: 0
  • not sure if i'd laugh if i was fat... says:
    September 05, 2008 3:29am but that was hilarious.
    Comment rating: 0
  • Not a fat tub of shit says:
    October 24, 2008 12:42am My god, it's almost like I wrote that. You couldn't be more on the money if you tried. I once flew to Dallas and had to sit next to a bohemoth who thought it was his right to lift the armrest so he could sit his 500lb arse down. You know what, I didn't see a stewardess once ask him to return to the gate to check his arse in, or ask him to stow his arse in the over head locker. Buy 2 seats you big fat inconsiderate shitroll.
    Comment rating: 0

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