Mad Atoms

Who has time to read all those boring movie reviews with 'opinions?' Don’t you just want to know what the movie is all about—will you like it? For instance, Public Enemies is all about guns; now if you happen to like that sort of thing, well you get the idea… 

If you like GILFS, then you will like Harold and Maude. 

If you like hair plugs, then you will like National Treasure. 

If you like Zach Braff’s self-indulgence, then you will like Garden State. 

If you like other people’s solitude, then you will like Into the Wild. 

If you like aggressive mullets, then you will like Roadhouse. 

If you like The Golden Girls, then you will like Fried Green Tomatoes. 

If you like pooping back and forth forever, then you will like Me and You and Everyone We Know. 

If you like Amish kids on meth, then you will like The Devil’s Playground.

If you like brahs, then you will like Point Break.

If you like twists, then you will like R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet. 

If you like Fargo, then you will like Fargo. 

If you like boys, then you will like Stand By Me. 

If you like annoying boys yelling at each other, then you will like Lord of the Flies. 

If you like demonstrations of lemon painting, then you will like Instructional DVD on Oil Painting—Lemons. 

If you like music, then you will like Top Gun. 

If you like young feminists, then you will like Showgirls. 

If you like old feminists, then you will like Striptease. 

If you like not knowing what the fuck is going on, then you will like Synecdoche, New York. 

If you like killing!, then you will like Reservoir Dogs . 

If you like feeling bored, then you will like Rachel Getting Married. 

If you like seeing how many different hairstyles Natalie Portman can have in one movie, then you will like Closer. 

Discuss in the comment section. Add your own! Or just get violently defensive of one of these movies.