Mad Atoms

Beyond the financial, real estate, and war crises, there is another problem eroding the welfare of our country. Chris Brown and Rihanna are dominating the music charts, and they must be stopped. I’m convinced the current prince and princess of pop were sent by robots or the devil to destroy what’s left of music. What’s worse – the two of them, allegedly a couple, are in cahoots.  

Let’s start with Chris Brown. Cute. Non-threatening. Great dancer. I saw a Wrigley’s Double Mint Gum commercial with Chris singing* and dancing in it. That same week, I heard his top five single, Forever, on the radio. I thought, “That sounds like the gum song.” Imagine the horror in discovering the real song ACTUALLY contains the lyrics  

Double your pleasure

Double your fun 

Are you fuckng kidding me? This kid took gum lyrics and used them in a song? This is a danceable form of conglomerate brainwashing. And they’re not even trying to disguise it. The audacity!

Ok, let’s move on to Rihanna. Jay-Z signed her, so, I was willing to give her a shot. But she can’t sing, and no one seems to notice or care. It’s amazing what a cute haircut can do to distract the masses. (Britney take note.) Rihanna’s #1 hit, Disturbia, was also the name of a Dreamworks vehicle for Shia LeBeouf (her rumored Pre-Chris fling). No kidding! This is an insidious way of getting us to accept a made-up word and more schlock into our culture. Oh, and who is credited as a writer on the song, Disturbia? Chris Brown, suckas. 

Should I blame these young artists for trying to cash in, especially when they have less talent upon which to trade? Maybe not. Should I hold the American public accountable for getting the type of material they deserve if this is whom they choose to support? Probably. Nevertheless, I may be powerless in the face of the Chris Brown-Rihanna machine, but I will continue to be the lone voice of rage against it. 

*I have no evidence Chris sings. I’ve seen three of his “live” performances on television. He didn’t sing a note. If you can’t sing and dance at the same time, don’t insult us by lip singing while you dance (until your 3^rd album, at least). You have to pick one skill or train with Justin Timberlake until you’re up to the challenge.